Keep Your Eyes On The... Leftovers?

Jesus feeds the 5,000 

John 6:5-9
Lifting up his eyes, then, and seeing that a large crowd was coming toward him, Jesus said to Philip, “Where are we to buy bread, so that these people may eat?”  He said this to test him, for he himself knew what he would do. Philip answered him, “Two hundred denarii worth of bread would not be enough for each of them to get a little.” One of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, said to him, “There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish, but what are they for so many?”

It's a really good thing that I wasn't one of the disciples there that day.  If I had been, the Bible would have had one more facepalm-inducing groaner of a story.  It would have read something like this:

"But Betsy, being faint with hunger, and being of little faith and great self-centeredness, snatched the loaves and fishes away from Andrew and devoured them herself, reasoning that she would need lots of sustenance for herself first, if she was to be expected to feed everyone else."

Milennia of Christians would shake their heads as they read my story. "How could she be that dense and selfish?"

How indeed?  How have I reached the ripe old age of fifty without learning to consistently trust that God will meet my needs when I minister to others? When will I learn that He takes care of those who obey his command to think of others first?

But notice the timing of God's provision.  The disciples got basketfulls of leftovers to eat... after they served food to everyone else.  I don't mean to imply that that's always how He does things, but it does make me wonder:  How many blessings have I missed because I waited for God to do a miracle before I was willing to act...while He was waiting for me to step out in obedient faith?

It's harder to step out when you don't see the provision first.  Put yourself in the disciples' dusty sandals. Can you imagine how difficult that must have been at first, listening to your own stomach growling while you portioned out food to others?  

I've been serving alongside You, Lord!  These people are just moochers.  I've given up everything for You, but what have they given up?  Not lunch, that's for sure.  No,  I'm the one who has to give that up!

There was no wine on hand, but if I'd been there, there would have been plenty of whine!

I wonder what Jesus would have done if I'd devoured the loaves and fishes.  He probably would have created food from scratch and had us serve it.  But when it came time for the disciples to enjoy the leftovers, I wonder if there would have been a basket for me.  Or would Jesus have looked into my eyes with loving rebuke and said, "You preferred what you could snatch greedily for yourself, and I let you have it.  But that's all.  The other disciples who weren't greedy get the miraculous provision that only I can give.  And what I can give is always more satisfying than whatever you can snatch for yourself."

Maybe not. He's so much more gracious than we expect Him to be. But getting nothing more than my stolen, faithless meal is what I would have deserved.

But the Lord is gracious in more than just feeding empty bellies. He feeds empty souls and enlightens darkened minds, too.  And I can only hope that He would have worked a miracle in my heart if I'd been there that day.  I can hope that, by His grace, the rumblings of my stomach would slowly have been drowned out by a song of awe-filled praise as I saw His miracle flowing through my fingers.  I can hope that my once-grasping hands would have begun to delight in giving and giving and giving; in being part of the wonder of His lavish grace.

The good news for me and you is that He still teaches the same lessons today. He still wants us to understand that He enriches us so that we can be generous (2 Co 9:11).  He still commands us to look not only to our own interests, but also to the interests of others (Php 2:4).  He still promises to supply all our needs (Php. 4:19).

And He doesn't just teach us about physical provision for physical needs.  Perhaps more importantly, His provision is the only hope we have for not sinning when our emotions are hit hard.  When our personal bank of compassion and/or forgiveness is running dry, but we still need to give.

As I've been writing this, I've also been made aware of someone's terrible behavior which caused great undeserved pain to good people.  Again.  It's a pattern with this particular person, and he happens to be someone for whom I bear some responsibility.

I feel my soul starting to grasp again.  Not for bread or fish, but for other things I feel desperately in need of.  

• Power.
• Control.
• Some way to get through to him!
• Some way to make him feel how much I despise his behavior.
• Some way to compose the proper words of wrath that will (despite James 1:20) somehow produce the righteousness of God.

Why am I desperate to grasp these things?  Because I don't see miraculous provision yet.  I don't have what it takes to fix this person, and so far, God hasn't fixed him either.  

Since writing the above paragraph, I've had a chance to talk to that hurtful person.  I told him I didn't know what to say, but that he and I both know how capable I am of saying sinful, hurtful things, and that I don't want to do that.  I've told him I'm praying and keeping my mouth shut until I know how to say something edifying (Eph. 4:29-32).  And I've reminded him that such restraint is exactly what I so often tell him to practice.  I admitted that I needed to do a better job of modeling, of practicing what I preach.

I suggested that he pray about his sin.  And then I got back to work, trying to serve in quiet trust while praying for help.  Trying to do what Jesus says to do.  Because that's how the disciples fed the multitudes.  They obeyed with what little they had, and watched Jesus do the rest.

Unlike the demands of that ancient mountainside picnic, my needs relative to this particular person's challenges will probably last for many years.  I probably won't see a definitive solution today.  So it's my job to obey, to try to serve in love, to walk according to the light that I have, and to trust God's timing, day in and day out, for as long as it takes.  

I need to trust Him that whatever he gives me today is sufficient for today, even if it doesn't feel like it.

And if my heart is bent on loving, serving, and obeying, I'll be ready for more concrete guidance and provision when/if it comes.  But if I harden my heart and insist on futilely grasping for power in sinful wrath, how will Christ bless anyone through me?

Lord, I've got nothing.  In my flesh dwells no good thing.  But by Your grace, may I serve, may I give, and may I hold out for Your leftovers, knowing that Your leftovers are more soul-satisfying than self's greediest fare.

P.S.  Thank You, Lord, for the edifying conversation that you made possible later.  Thank You that You kept a hand over my mouth earlier, so I wouldn't spout off something which might have prevented that later conversation from happening.  You are so good!

The Blessing of Hunger (Part 1)

So He humbled you, allowed you to hunger, and fed you with manna which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man shall not live by bread alone; but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the LORD.
Deu 8:3

Such an interesting phrase:  “He allowed you to hunger!”  Not “He forced you to hunger,” but “He allowed you to hunger.”

Think about that.

Let me tell you what this word “allowed” can NOT imply.  It is NOT a limitation of the sovereignty of God.  Some people cannot bear the thought of God deliberately sending hardship into human lives.  They try to make excuses for Him by saying, “He didn’t make that happen, He allowed it.”  And there’s a sense in which Scripture allows that point of view…within limits.  The mystery of God’s sovereign will and man’s responsibility is deeper than I can fathom, much less explain here.

But God forbid that we should ever see Him as a weak, spineless pushover of a father, one who could never say “no” to a petulant child or administer strong discipline (in love) when needed (Heb. 12:7-11).  He may even introduce hardship into our lives when we aren’t particularly in need of discipline, in order to further refine and purify us (Isa. 48:10).  And Scripture prohibits us from adopting the simplistic view that says, “things which make me happy come from God, and things which make me sad come from the devil” (Lam. 3:37-38).

No, when God says He allowed His people to hunger, it wasn’t an act of passivity on His part.  It was something He actively did to them.  So why is it “allowing” instead of “forcing?”  Because even though we sheep are too ignorant to see it this way most of the time, it is a privilege to undergo discipline, chastening, or any other form of hardship which our Father deems good for us. 

We don’t deserve His intervention in our lives.  He could passively allow us to go on amusing ourselves on the primrose path to destruction, and we would be getting exactly what we deserve.  But in His kindness, He allows us to experience His touches in our lives…both the pleasant touches and the unpleasant ones.  Both are intended for our good, and they will certainly accomplish the good for which He gave them.

And there can be little doubt that one of His greatest blessings is hunger.

Physical Hunger

Physical hunger is something that I know almost nothing about.  And if you’re reading this from a comfortable Western-style home, there’s a good chance you don’t know much about it, either.  We think we’ve felt hunger, and we use ridiculous phrases like, “I’m starving” when we’ve already eaten more that day than many people eat in three.

We are right to consider our full stomachs a blessing, and we ought to be sincere in our thanks to God.  But there’s a sense in which our full stomachs are a curse, and more hunger would be a blessing indeed.

Do you see the blessing in the verse quoted above?  The Bible says that God:

• Humbled them.  Scripture is chock full of warnings about the dangers of pride, and it advises us of the blessings which come to the humble (for example, Jas. 4:6, Hos. 13:6 NIV).  Therefore, it is a blessing to be humbled.  If hunger is God’s tool for humbling us, then hunger becomes a blessing.
• Fed them by miraculous means.  Can you imagine being personally fed by God every day, without any “middleman” in between?  God gave them this miracle in response to their hunger.  So hunger was a means of blessing.
• Taught them one of life’s most crucial lessons…that we depend utterly on God.  Trust in God is prerequisite to happiness (Ps. 146:5), so the hunger that taught the lesson is a blessing.

There are other ways that physical hunger can be a blessing.  And we have a responsibility here.  Because hunger on the part of one person is an opportunity for service, sacrifice, mercy and love on the part of another.  We should never look at a truly hungry person and say, “Oh isn’t that nice, God is blessing them with hunger.”  Heaven forbid! (Jas. 2:15-16).  Hunger is a blessing only when used as a tool by our loving Father, and it’s a tool that is supposed to bring the beauty of compassionate care into people’s lives.  We’re supposed to be giving that care.  Throughout the past two millennia, it has been Christians who have done the most to feed the hungry.  And what a difference it makes when we do!

Finally, there’s this word of wisdom from the Proverbs:

A satisfied soul loathes the honeycomb, but to a hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet.
Pro 27:7

Hunger sharpens our appreciation of the food we receive.  Ever wonder why we rich Westerners are such discontented, psychologist-dependent, drug-addicted, easily bored people?  Partly it’s because we have ruined our own capacity for enjoyment.  We glut ourselves, never allowing ourselves to hunger, or to do without anything we want.  And because we are constantly satisfied, we constantly loathe the honeycomb.  After all, we had the honeycomb yesterday, too.  Don’t we need something new today?

Wouldn’t we be happier if we did without the extras, and learned to find even the bitter things to be sweet?  I’m not suggesting some sort of sick desire for suffering.  I am suggesting that our bloated lifestyles lead to their own kind of suffering…a chronic discontentment, an unhealthy forgetfulness of dependence, a pride that sickens our souls, and physical unhealthiness. 

It’s easy to say these words.  But here I sit, somewhat overweight, with food to spare in my fridge and my pantry and even on shelves in my garage.  Here I sit, a person who “gets the munchies” and eats whatever she wants, whenever she wants, even if her body doesn’t need it.  I’m preaching to myself, and I hope I’m listening.

The world’s economies are collapsing around us, and it may not be long before we learn what hunger truly is.  May we have the wisdom and humility to pray along with Agur:

Give me neither poverty nor riches— feed me with the food allotted to me; lest I be full and deny You, and say, "Who is the LORD?" Or lest I be poor and steal, and profane the name of my God.
Pro 30:8-9

Who knows with what miraculous provisions God will feed those who trust in Him in the 21st Century?  Who knows how He will bless us with the love and compassion of those around us?  Who knows how He will humble us?  How much more we’ll appreciate what little we have?

But there’s another kind of hunger that is an even greater blessing.  Next time, we’ll look at spiritual hunger.  I hope you’ll join us.

In the meantime, please leave your comments below.

Friday Fiction: Reversals of Fortune

Friday Fiction

This week's Friday Fiction is being hosted over at Joanne Sher's wonderful site, "An Open Book." Be sure to drop by there to see what other works of fiction have been posted this week.

This piece is something I just wrote last week, for the weekly FaithWriters Challenge. The given topic was "The Game of Life." It points out how easily we can fool ourselves with regard to who or what we really love...and who or what we don't. If you'd like to read more on this subject matter, when you're through here you'll want to check out "The World in My Hand?"

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Reversals of Fortune

A toddling child, a loving wife
He could have dreamed suburban dreams
And gathered 'round him all that seems
To satisfy, like worldly wealth,
And lived for comfort, ease and health.
But no, he threw it all away
"I'll be no fool," he used to say.
"I'll give up what I cannot keep..."
Soon wife and child in heartache weep.
His blood is spilled, dreams unfulfilled
His idealistic young heart stilled.
Slain by the ones he'd hoped to save
Laid in an obscure jungle grave.
He took a chance, he threw the dice,
Lost everything in sacrifice,
Called "loser" in the Game of Life.

Another man with children, wife
Inspired himself with higher dreams
Of all that glitters, all that gleams.
Lead millions in the cult of self
His books lined every bookstore shelf.
"Jesus died to line your way
With roses and with gold," he'd say.
"Eternal life? It comes dirt cheap!
Get all you want, and pile it deep!
Get wealth, be thrilled, get all you've willed!
To pamper us our Lord was killed!"
The crowds adored him, how they raved!
His earthly streets with gold were paved.
He took a chance, he threw the dice,
And made his world comfy and nice,
Called "winner" in the Game of Life.

The Bridegroom calls his bride, his wife,
"Come here to Me, the Father deems
It's time to fulfill all our dreams!
Once poverty, now Heaven's wealth
Once illness, now eternal health."
Lovers of God, in bright array
Step into everlasting day.
On earth their hearts to Jesus thrilled
Desire for earthly gain had chilled.
They loved their Lord, from sin were saved
God's Spirit ruled how they behaved.
They took a chance, but with no dice
They followed Christ to Paradise.
All winners in the Game of Life.

The Judge now calls the sons of strife
"What's happened now to all your dreams?
To all your idol-making schemes?
Your hearts were welded to your wealth
Your greed consumed your souls by stealth.
Not with Christ, with gold you filled
Your hearts; rejecting Life you killed
Yourselves, to Christ you did not give
Your souls, in Him you would not live.
Feigned love for Me was just a way
To garner wealth in jars of clay.
You would not let my goodness woo you
Depart from me, I never knew you."

You who love this world, think twice!
Trust Christ, not Earth, for Paradise.

It really is no game, this life.


For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. (Mat 16:25)

"No servant can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth." (Luke 16:13)

(Photos from stock.xchng by brkic87 and hisks)

The World in My Hand?

Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. (Ps. 37:4)



Hucksters in the pulpit love verses like this one. Snake-oil sermonizers preach out of their own greedy hearts into their followers' greedy ears, and the message goes down smooth as honey.

"Trust in the Lord, and you've got the whole world in your hands! All the money you want, if only you believe! All the success! All the prestige! All the health! All the ease and comfort!"

Is that what this verse means?

What do you delight in?

If you delight in football, what will the desires of your heart be? Probably a certain team, televised games, star athletes, and associated gear.

If you delight in horses, what will the desires of your heart be? Beautiful animals with flowing manes, afternoons of riding, the smell of saddles.

If you delight in food, what will the desires of your heart be? Lasagna, chocolate, steak, or whatever most pleases your palate.

If you delight in the Lord, what will the desires of your heart be?

It is a simple fact that we value tools only because we value what they can accomplish for us. We value saws and nails because they build houses, we value surgical implements because they restore health, we love money because it buys necessities and luxuries. It is a strange person indeed who collects money just for the smell of it, and the feel of it in his hands; living like a pauper while greenbacks paper his walls. We recognize that the tool is secondary in value. What it accomplishes for us is primary.

And yet there are many in this world who think they worship God, when in fact they see Him only as a tool for getting them what they really value most; temporal pleasures, health, money, and the like. They worship those pleasures, not God. God is just a means to a higher end.

Today's "Health and Wealth Gospel" teaches that faith will enable you to satisfy your love for money. But the Bible says that the love of money will cause you to wander from your faith:

"For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows." (1Tim. 6:10)

Money is not evil, but the love of it is. And money, because of the power that it bestows, is far too easy to love. No wonder the Scripture warns us, "If riches increase, do not set your heart on them" (Ps. 62:10), and "Keep your heart with all diligence" (Pr. 4:23). It matters what we love!

"And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil." (John 3:19)

"Jesus said to him, 'YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.' This is the first and great commandment." (Matt. 22:37-38)

And what of health, or success, or fame, or a happy home life? Do we love God more than these?

Do we really?


How do we know if we truly delight in the Lord?

The apostle Paul preaches a lot of messages that would (sadly) sound very foreign in many modern churches, and would doubtless offend many deep-pocketed parishioners. But if we want to know what it means to delight in the Lord, he's a great one to study.

He says:

"Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ...that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death" (Php 3:8,10)

"I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Php 4:11-13)

We can know that we truly delight in the Lord if we can trust and love Him and rejoice in Him even through tears of grief and loss. We know that we delight in Him if we think of Him more than we think of money or temporal pleasures.

No one can do this naturally. It has to come through His Spirit in us. But the greatest news awaits those who love the Lord like this. He will give them the desires of their heart!

He will give them Himself.





(Photo from Stock.xchng by ugaldew)