The Grace That Cuts Away

It's been a while since I participated in any writing "Memes," but today's writing prompt at "Monday Manna" was too good to resist, and it ties in very well with our current series on grace.  We were prompted to write something on this verse:

Deuteronomy 30:6

And the LORD your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your offspring, so that you will love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live.

That's one of my very favorite verses, and it's so rich in theology, so rich in assurance, so rich in JOY that there's no way to cover it all in one little blog post.  But here's the angle that the Lord is prompting me to take today.

Why in the world did the Lord use the term "Circumcision" to describe what He does to our hearts?  And for that matter, why did He ordain the act of male circumcision in the first place?  Isn't it rather bizarre?  Some would even say it's a brutal thing to do to an unsuspecting infant who cannot possibly give consent.  What's the meaning of it all?

I've usually heard the whole idea of circumcision presented as a theological "negative."  Something is cut away to remind us to get rid of the filth of sin in our lives.  And that's definitely part of it (Col 2:11).  It makes sense why a certain body part would be chosen for such a procedure, doesn't it?  If a young man decides to go astray, we can be pretty certain of at least one type of sin he's guaranteed to choose.  Enough said?

Sin needs to be cut away, so circumcision is primarily a lesson in self-denial and loss, isn't it?

What if it's more than that?

Today's verse hints at a much deeper and more joyous meaning.  Look at it again.

And the LORD your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your offspring, so that you will love the LORD your God…

Love is not a negative.  This verse begs us to look at the positive, at the yearnings of our heart.  Everyone longs to love, unless they've hardened their hearts so much that they've denied even that most fundamental desire.

"But wait a minute," you may protest.  "If an 8-day-old baby were capable of speech, do you think he'd cry 'I love you' to the Mohel who just circumcised him?"

Nope.  I don't.  And when God began the process of circumcising my heart, it didn't exactly bring me into poetic ecstasies of love for Him, either.  (I believe my words to Him were, "I hate You!")

But the purpose of God still stands.

And the LORD your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your offspring, so that you will love the LORD your God…

God cuts away, and He commands us to cut away.  In physical circumcision, what gets cut is…how shall I say this delicately?  A major pleasure center?  And in heart circumcision, He cuts away at the center of our being, at the place where pleasures and pains go deeper than the merely physical.

Why??  Why all of this loss and sacrifice and blood (or at least emotional bleeding)?

so that you will love the LORD your God…

Oh, how prone we humans are to focus on loss, and lose sight of gain!  Yes, a bit of flesh is lost in physical circumcision, and there is pain.  But what is gained?  A lifetime as a member of a covenant community.  God's covenant community.  And, of course, plenty more flesh remains than what was lost, with lots of potential for future enjoyment.

The pain is quickly forgotten.

Now, think about the focus of so much of Scripture.  We are to be wholly given to the Lord.  We are to delight in Him, take pleasure in Him, value Him above all else, rejoice in Him (Deut 6:5, Jos 23:11, Matt 22:37-38, Psa 37:4, Php 4:4, just to name a few examples). 

He is to be our "pleasure center."

What if that's the lesson?  What if injury must be done to the sources of some of our human pleasures, in order to remind us that we can know deeper pleasures than the ones mere flesh can bring?  What if the ultimate goal isn't losing something, but gaining something?

For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ…(Php 3:8)

No physical circumcision can save anyone's soul, but it can serve as a vivid reminder that our physical pleasures are to be submitted to the One who is the source of all pleasure (Jas 1:17).

And the miraculous work of the Spirit, which God describes here as circumcision of the heart, does save souls.

And the LORD your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your offspring, so that you will love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live.

Heart circumcision cuts away at our loves…our idols…so that we can be brought to love the only One who is truly worthy of our heart's whole commitment and devotion.  The process is often painful, but take it from one who has gone from hating God to loving Him…it is so worth it all!  And think how quickly the pain will be forgotten when we enter Eternity!

Always remember, true salvation is accompanied by an ever growing love for God.  The inability to love God is part of the curse of sin, and those who will not come to love God through Christ will be accursed (1 Co 16:22, John 3:19).  Head knowledge without love for God is not saving faith.  That's the kind of knowledge that demons have…call it "demon faith."

If you do not love God through Christ as you wish you did (and none of us loves him perfectly), pray for this wonderful "circumcision made without hands."

Dear Lord,

Thank You for Your sacrificial death for me on Calvary.  Please forgive me for my sinful lack of love for You.  Please, oh LORD my God, circumcise my heart so that I will love You with all my heart and with all my soul, so that I may live!  Cut away my idols, and teach me to find my deepest pleasure and joy and hope and love in You!

No request could please Him more!

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To read other participants' blog entries on this verse, please visit Joanne Sher's blog, "An Open Book," here.

As Good As His Word

Today I’m interrupting the series on “Gospel 101” so I can participate in this week’s

Monday Manna

Joanne Sher at An Open Book is hosting this week, and she provided the following verses for us to use as our topic.

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. (Gen 1:1)

 

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. (John 1:1)

Remember that fine old expression, “He’s as good as his word?”  It means faithfulness to one’s commitments.  “If he says he’ll do it, he’ll do it!”  He’s as good as his word.

We couch the same idea in a warning, too.  As I often remind my children, “You’re only as good as your word.”  We cannot trust or respect those who don’t say what they mean or mean what they say.

How good is God’s Word?

“And God said, “Let there be…” 

Three little words, and the cosmos obeyed.  Stars ignited.  Planets danced around them.  Gravity reined everything into proper orbits.  Light shone.  Water coalesced.  Life roamed, and slithered, and flew, and swam. 

Because of the Word.  His Word.

What is a perfect word?  You and I can’t utter them.  Our humanly-spoken words carry with them only the representations of ideas.  If someone understands our language, then our words carry meaning.  To a foreigner, our words are so much noise.

God’s perfect Word is no mere representation.  It is His declaration of His Will, and so it carries the power to make His Will happen.  Let there be light…and there was light.  (Gen 1:3)

His Word is His Truth conveyed (not merely represented) to us.  Your Word is truth (John 17:17).

It is His expression of His very Self.

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth. (John 1:14)

Jesus is that Word.  The very same Word which spoke creation (John 1:3), now wrapped in flesh.  God’s Life in the form of human life, His glory shining brightly despite its imprisonment in a jar of clay (John 1:4).

Jesus said to him, "He who has seen Me has seen the Father” (John 14:9)

Never think that our Heavenly Father is a hateful, vengeful being, and that Jesus came to save us from Him.  I’m sad to say that I saw God that way in my younger years.  God forbid that we should think such blasphemy!  Jesus came to save us from the sin which separates us from the Father!  He came to bring us to God (1 Pet. 3:18), who is our exceeding joy (Ps. 43:4)!

How good is our God?  He is as good as His Word.

As good as a promise made back in the garden.

Look at the part of the Genesis account where the creation of man is explained in greater detail (Gen. 2:7).  Do you notice something different about the creation of man compared to all of the rest of creation?

God did not use the Word alone for that one.  He did say, “Let Us make man…” (Gen. 1:26), but He gave His Word hands for that task…hands which formed the man from the dust of the ground.  And then He breathed life into him.

Why?

All of the rest of God’s creatures live their stories and die when their curtains close.  For them, a single act of creation was enough.  Flesh and life were given all at once.  But for man…

For man, there had to be something more.  The props were all put in place, and the supporting actors knew their parts, but what was this drama now disclosing, as God broke form and made man in a different way?

That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. (John 3:6)

Do you see the Gospel being sculpted from the dust?  Animals and stars are what they appear to be.  They have bodies, and the living creatures have a form of life.  But for humans there must be something else.  The physical form is not all there is.  When it dies, we do not.  There is more.  Much more.

Adam awaited the breath of God.  Until that was given, there was no life.

Do you know that the Hebrew word for “breath,” נשׁמה(neshâmâh), also means “Spirit?”

Adam and Eve forfeited their divinely-given life when they chose the way of death.  And when that happened, God gave them a promise.  A coming One who would crush Satan under His feet (Gen. 3:15).

The Word who spoke creation would create us anew by His life and His Spirit.

Have you been created only once, or are you a new creation now (2 Co. 5:17)?

God breathed only one Word for our eternal life, and His name is Jesus.

And God is as good as His Word.

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Be sure to drop by An Open Book for links to more devotionals on this subject.

The God Who Weeps

Monday Manna

Jesus wept.

This is holy ground.

My analytical mind doesn’t dare to tread here. I could ruin the whole subject. Doctrine is great, and it has its vital place, but not here. Not now.

Jesus wept.

Don’t over-analyze. Just look. Listen. Drink it in.

There were others there outside of town, where Martha first met up with Jesus. He hadn’t yet gone to the tomb.

There were people milling about on their daily errands; people who knew Lazarus, and perhaps people who did not. People with thoughts and opinions, with doubts and questions which they did not keep to themselves. There was the normal babble of life, and there was the mourning of death.

And yet, when I picture the scene, a holy hush falls on my imagination.

Jesus wept.

I’ve been to funerals and tried very hard not to cry. Trying to maintain dignity? Unwilling to get emotionally involved to that degree? I don’t know.

Jesus wept.

I’m ashamed to say that I’ve often belittled other people’s tears because, in my mind, their sorrows can’t compare with mine. Or else I fear that their pain, coupled with my own, would be too overwhelming to risk. So I keep my distance.

Shame on me. Oh, shame on me!

Jesus wept.

He knew how soon He would bring joy to replace their sorrows. Yet their sorrows still touched Him.

He knew that all of those around Him would finish their vaporous lives in no time, rendering today’s relief cruelly temporary.

He knew that his upcoming miracle would cause the Pharisees to plot against Him, and would cause Caiaphas to prophecy His sacrificial death.

He knew that His crucifixion would be more agonizing than anything Lazarus had suffered. And He knew that His physical pain would be eclipsed by a spiritual torture that no human could ever fathom.

He could easily have thrown His head back and shouted for all the world to hear, “What are you making all of this fuss about? Don’t you know how little any of this matters in the light of eternity? You wanna know what suffering is? Just listen to what I’m about to go through!”

I might have done that. At least, I would have thought it.

Jesus wept.

The Lord of Eternity felt the pain of the moment. It distilled in his eyes and spilled onto his cheeks…cheeks that would soon be slapped and plucked by cruel hands.

And this same Lord, through the Apostle Paul, tells me to weep with those who weep (Rom. 12:15).

Oh Lord, please forgive my dry cheeks!

For most of my life I hid my tears, even from my family, because I saw them as weakness. And I feared letting them fall even when I was alone, because I was afraid that opening the well of my sorrows might cause an outpouring that could never stop. If the dam broke, there would be no putting me back together again.

God has healed me of that fear, but old habits die hard. Dry cheeks still feel safer somehow.

Perhaps I could more easily let those tears spill if I remembered that I never weep alone. For surely, the One who wept for Mary and for Martha also weeps for me, and for those I encounter whose hearts are breaking.

Yes, He knows how happily it all is going to end. He rejoices in that knowledge, and nothing can take that joy from Him.

But nothing can take our pain from Him, either. He won’t allow anything to take it. He would not dream of missing an opportunity to weep with us, even though, in His divine fullness, He rejoices for us at the same time.

I’ve never dared to think of it that way before. I, who distance myself from other people’s pain, tend to imagine a God who distances Himself. Before I truly met Him, I would have accused Him of coldness. After meeting Him, I would have ruled out His tears because of the eternal optimism of His sovereignty.

But He was no less sovereignly optimistic on that day outside of Bethany…and still He wept.

His tears came from something other than fear, or hopelessness, or any of the dreadful things that Mary and Martha felt.

They came from love.

Oh Lord, give us the kind of love for others which weeps with them. Grant us the kind of love for You, and faith in You, that allows us to risk feeling other people’s pain in addition to our own, knowing that You will not allow us to be destroyed. Allow us to share our tears with those who would be helped by them, and more importantly…

Help us to show them the God who weeps for them, and yet rejoices for them too. May our tears, though genuinely sorrowful, still glisten with Your love, Your hope, Your peace, Your goodness. In the name of the One who wept that day,

Amen.

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This week's Monday Manna is being hosted by Joann over at An Open Book. Be sure to drop by there for her insights on this passage, and to find links for even more!

Who Can Be Sent?

Monday Manna

Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying:
"Whom shall I send, And who will go for Us?"
Then I said, "Here am I! Send me."
(Isa 6:8)

What a glorious chapter Isaiah 6 is! Can you imagine Isaiah's frustration with trying to boil Image via Wikipediadown that awesome experience into a few words? Moved by the Spirit, he said exactly what he was supposed to say, but he was limited by the finiteness of language. I'm sure he wished there were some way to explain the glory, the awe, the terror, the majesty. But the Spirit led him to write what he wrote, and so we do well to examine what God felt was important enough to tell us.

He tells us many things in this chapter, but one of the most important is the answer to our title question.

Who can be sent?

I didn't ask, "Who can go?" "Going" is simply a matter of deciding on a direction and heading that way. Anyone can do that.

Not just anyone can be sent.

So who can be sent by Almighty God?

First and foremost, it must be someone who has had a genuine, miraculous encounter with the Holy One. Isaiah certainly did (Isa. 6:1-5). So did Moses (Ex. 3:2-4), and so did Paul (Acts 9:3-6). Before God sent them, He showed them Himself.

"But wait," you may protest. "Are you saying I can't be sent by God without a miraculous encounter like that?"

Well yes, and no. You can't be sent without a miraculous encounter. But it doesn't have to be "like that."

It can't be said often enough. Salvation is a miraculous encounter with God. It is more than just a miraculous encounter (for example, Balaam had miraculous encounters without ever being saved), but it cannot be less than that.

You probably didn't see God face-to-face when you were first saved, but the eyes of your heart were miraculously opened to see Him as never before. You probably didn't feel the pillars of the temple shake, but something in your soul trembled at His presence. You probably were not struck with physical blindness, but you must have been struck with how spiritually blind you had been before He gave you sight. You who were spiritually dead felt life coursing into the veins of your soul when you first met Him and were saved by Him. You were made new. That's nothing short of a miracle. Without such a miraculous rebirth, there is no salvation.

Christendom is full of false prophets who come in His Name, who make the best-seller lists, get their own TV shows, and rub elbows with the world's political elite...but whom He never sent (Jer. 14:14).

Who can be sent? Those who have had a miraculous encounter with God, and who have been devastated by an awareness of their own sin (Isa. 6:5). Dear discouraged brother or sister, do you feel that your sin disqualifies you from service? If you are one who is growing to hate your sin, growing to love God, growing in holiness, then you most certainly can be sent. There are only three kinds of awareness of sin, you know.

• Minimizing how evil it is and cherishing it
• Relishing how evil it is and cherishing it
• Understanding how evil it is and hating it.

Only a miraculous, saving encounter with God can produce the third option. Those who see their sin for what it is and repent of it can be sent...even though they still are imperfect. They just keep hating their sin, and keep repenting of it as they go. But there's more to this "sending" than that.

Who can be sent? Those who have a miraculous encounter with God, who are devastated by their sinfulness, and who are cleansed by Him (Isa. 6:6-7).

We aren't cleansed by "forgiving ourselves for our own mistakes." When I find a dirty cup, and my child needs a drink, I cleanse that cup thoroughly before sending it on its drink-giving errand. I don't trust it to clean itself.

God, through Christ, does the same with His chosen vessels. No, he doesn't generally use burning coals. Such symbolism has its place, but it's nothing more than a metaphor for what has to happen within. Our God is a consuming fire (Heb. 12:29), and He refines us as in a furnace, purifying us for His glory (Isa. 48:10-11).

Lastly, those who can be sent are those who present themselves with no strings attached. To be sent is to go because of the command or bidding of someone else. It is not self-directed. It's not based on mood or personal desire (though mood and desire may agree wholeheartedly in many cases). Isaiah offered himself in Isa. 6:8, but didn't learn the difficult and painful nature of his mission until Isa. 6:9-10, or how long his service would last until Isa. 6:11.

Those who only want to "go"
will come to God with their own agendas
and expect His blessing.

Those who want to be sent
leave their agendas behind
and actually receive His blessing.

Have you experienced His miraculous saving work? Do you know what it is to be devastated by your sinfulness and overwhelmed by His forgiving grace? Do you hate sin and repent of it with loathing? Has He cleansed you so that you're new (though still not perfected)? Are you committed to serving Him on His agenda rather than your own?

Then, with Isaiah you may say, "Here am I, send me."

• Not because of any self-confidence, or your ability to make yourself popular with the masses. The false prophets have plenty of that (Luke 6:26).
  
• Not because of your qualifications. God chooses foolish, despicable nothings to do His work (1 Cor. 1:26-29).
  
• Not because of your achievements, but because of His purpose and His grace which He has given to us (2 Tim. 1:9).
  
• Not because of your plans for being used. Remember Moses' plan for serving God and freeing His people? He thought he'd do it by murdering Egyptians who mistreated Jews. God had much more supernatural plans for him than that.

It is purely God's work in you which makes you usable.

You may object, "I'm saved, but I've never been sent anywhere."

Haven't you? Whom did God send to your workplace this morning in your shoes?

It isn't only the flashy, history-making assignments which come from God. If you walk by the Spirit of God, does He not send you? Whether you "feel sent" or not, every task that your hand finds to do is one that He sent you to do. Living in the light of that truth is how we obey the commands in Col. 3:17 and Col. 3:23-24.

It's easy for me to raise my hand and say, "Send me!" when He asks for someone to write for Him. I'm grateful to have a tiny corner of the blogosphere in which I can be used for His glory. But it's not so easy to walk into a piled-high laundry room with a "send me" attitude. It's not so easy to approach the kitchen saying, "Here am I, Lord. Your servant."

I guess I need more of that awesome reverence for God, more hatred for sin, more cleansing from Him, more abandonment of my own agendas in favor of His. I'm guessing maybe some of you do, too.

Oh Father, grant us the fear of the Lord as You promised in Jer. 32:40. Grant us repentance (2 Tim. 2:25) and a holy hatred for sin. Cleanse us and make us fit for Your use, enabling us to gratefully accept whatever roles you give us. Then, no matter how unqualified we are in our flesh, we will still be able to say, "Here am I, send me!"

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This week's Monday Manna is being hosted by Joanne Sher at "An Open Book." Please drop by there to see more insights on this passage

Reasonable Sacrifice - Monday Manna

Today I am interrupting our current series so I can participate in

Monday Manna

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.
Rom 12:1 (NKJV)

Does being a "living sacrifice" sound reasonable to you?

The fact is, everyone is a living sacrifice. Athletes sacrifice years of hard work and pain to earn ribbons and medals. Businessmen sacrifice a lifetime to gain financial security. Children sacrifice years to learn in school, countless hours to get higher scores on electronic games, and nearly anything to establish their place in the world. Even the most selfish, lazy people on earth make endless sacrifices, because they are draining the lifeblood out of irretrievable years and opportunities on the altar of self-indulgence.

Parents sacrifice. Friends sacrifice. Soldiers sacrifice.

Why is being a living sacrifice to God, "reasonable service?" What makes Him worth it?

I have a sister who absolutely loves dogs. All dogs, but French Bulldogs most of all. It amazes me the sacrifices that she makes for those animals, whether they're her own, or whether they're foster dogs she's taken in for a rescue organization. She deals with a lot of paralyzed dogs, and thinks nothing of changing their diapers day in and day out for years on end, expressing their bladders if need be, going to great lengths to provide a custom homemade diet and the best medical care. She spends hours in online French Bulldog forums, drives long distances to rescue dogs from bad situations, and works in fundraising events. Honestly, there's no way I'd do it. It seems like "unreasonable sacrifice," because it wouldn't be worth it to me.

It's worth it to her, because the dogs themselves are worth it to her.

It's a love thing.

We sacrifice for what we love. And the more we love something or someone, the more reasonable that sacrifice seems.

So who decides what is reasonable service? We do, when we decide how much something is worth, and how much we love it. The problem is, we're not always very good judges of worth, nor are we always aware of just how much we sacrifice. Time slips away in front of televisions and computer screens, or is traded for any number of unimportant things, and we barely even notice. The hours turn into days, and weeks, and years, and before we know it, a lifetime.

Sacrificed.

In my 44 years on this earth, how many hours have I truly lived? How many hours have I spent in ways that matter? In the end, what will I have to show for the life that I've spent? How much of what I've accomplished will survive the fires of judgment? (2 Pe. 3:10-11 , 1 Co. 3:11-15)

Who decides what is "reasonable" sacrifice? Ultimately, God does. He tells us He's worth it. In fact, He's more than worth it (Rom. 8:18).

We're wise if we listen to Him. In fact, our souls may depend on it. Because saving faith has to be far more than simply assenting to facts about God, or about Christ. The demons know all about God. Far more than we will ever know on this earth. They believe all of these facts. They saw Jesus on the cross. They saw Him buried, and they saw His resurrection. If believing these things about Jesus is your definition of "saving faith," then you have to believe the demons are saved.

God forbid!

The problem is, the demons hate everything that they know about God. They hate His goodness, His power, His sovereignty, His holiness, His authority, His works, His ways, His expectations, His plans...everything. They have the facts right, but they do not have saving faith, because they do not trust in this God that they know. They do not believe He should have the right to rule, nor do they love Him or count Him as their treasure. Their goal is to depose Him, or at least to live as if He were not on the throne, and to lead humans to do the same.

By contrast, saving faith not only believes the facts about God and about Christ, but also rejoices in those facts! It not only assents to the fact that God is on the throne, but it wouldn't want it any other way!

Saving faith makes sacrifices, and counts them "reasonable," because it believes that Christ is worth it all.

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it. (Mat 13:44-46)

Worth it all.

Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ (Php 3:8)

Reasonable sacrifice.

And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My name's sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life. (Mat 19:29)

Do I love the Lord enough, trust Him enough, have faith enough to sacrifice everything, and call it "reasonable?"

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Today's "Monday Manna" is being hosted by Joanne over at "An Open Book." Please drop by there for links to other thoughts on this verse, and be sure to leave comments if you were blessed.

To Know Him - Monday Manna

Monday Manna

There's a hidden place in my soul.
I barely know it's there, but I defend it fiercely anyway.
Its walls stand firm and imposing, like Jericho of old.
They've grown thicker with every assault.
Attacks only serve to make this fortress stronger.
No enemy can ever breach its defenses.

Its surface is emblazoned with the graffiti of years.
Words in lead paint.
Poisonous.
"Toughen up!"
"Life's rough! Get over it!"
"Suffer in silence!"
"Faker! Phony!"
Dagger-words spoken in response to
my childhood tears.

Love had to be tough
To prepare me for a cruel world
A sink-or-swim world
Where no one, no one
Will ever really be there for you.

Most don't love.
But those who do
Are too overwhelmed with their own pain
To help you bear the weight of yours.
No one wants to hear your problems, anyway.

Alone.

Solitary.

Bereft.

Always.

So there was a little girl.
A little blonde girl.
A little blonde girl who cried.

I locked her away.
She had no right to cry.
If she insisted on doing so
she certainly had no right to be heard.

Life is tough.
Get over it.

She still lives in the fortress, where even I barely ever hear her.

For years the graffiti on her walls has gotten thicker.

The one with the spray can is me, showing her "tough love."
I have to thicken her walls, because if anyone sees her, they might hurt her.

She already hurts too much.

But someone knows her.




He has met with her sometimes.
Always by surprise.

He does not knock holes in her walls
or dig tunnels underneath
or use high explosives.

She's prepared for all of that.

He uses
the gentlest of touches
the kindest of looks
the softest of voices...
sometimes just in her heart
sometimes through His other children.

Walls melt.

She stands, exposed
but somehow not afraid.
Not of Him.

She weeps, always, when He finds her.
But her tears are sweet
because of the tenderness of
The One
who wipes them away
and perhaps most of all
because what she wants more than anything
is love.

She cannot bear to be exposed for long
so He hides Himself
for gentleness' sake
until she's ready to see Him again.

She wants...

no...


I...
I want...
to know Him.

His resurrection
is life
from this tomb

The fellowship of His sufferings...

sufferings which do not make Him belittle my lesser pains
but rather transforms them...

the fellowship of His sufferings
erases the word "Alone."

His death
is so much more beautiful
than the living death my soul has known.
I want to trade my death
for His
because His is full
of eternal life
and love.

I want to know Him
because
God help me!
I have heard my own voice
crushing my children's souls.
I've have seen my own hands
with bricks
and mortar
and lead paint
giving them the same
"tough love"
that smothered my soul
in airless darkness.

Dear God,
I want to know You
not just in my head
but in the deepest parts of me
the parts that need to feel
Your love, and
Your gentleness
and then pass them along to others
whose souls ache and languish
like mine.

Please
God.

Amen.

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Monday Manna is being hosted this week by Joanne over at An Open Book. Be sure to drop by for more food from Heaven, and remember to leave comments if an entry touched your heart.