Quotables for 2/19/10

"You may have stopped following Jesus, but now you want to follow again. When you stopped following Jesus, you did so on your terms. But the returning to Jesus is strictly under His conditions. He is God, and you are not. Are you willing to follow Jesus anywhere, at any time, under any condition? That is the only way you can follow Him."

~Blackaby, "Experiencing God Day by Day."

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(Regarding 1 John 3:22-23)

"Prayer has a specific purpose. God designed it in wisdom to fit his perfect way of working in the world. If you misuse it, it malfunctions. What then is the design of prayer? I think these verses show that prayer is designed by God to be the effect of faith and the cause of love.

Therefore if we try to pray when we really do not believe in the name of God’s Son, or if we try to pray when our aim is not love, prayer malfunctions.

'We receive from him whatever we ask, because we keep his commandments.'  This does not mean that keeping his commandments earns answers to prayer; it means prayer is designed to give power in the path of obedience. That is what it is for. Prayer is God’s way of making himself available for us when we are pouring ourselves out in love for others. Prayer is the power to love. Therefore if we do not aim to love, we pray in vain. Prayer is not designed to compound hoarded pleasures."

~John Piper in "A Godward Life" 

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"Drudgery is one of the finest tests to determine the genuineness of our character. Drudgery is work that is far removed from anything we think of as ideal work. It is the utterly hard, menial, tiresome, and dirty work. And when we experience it, our spirituality is instantly tested and we will know whether or not we are spiritually genuine. "

~Chambers, "My Utmost for His Highest."

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Thank you for letting me share with you a few of the things that touched my heart in this morning's devotions.  May the Lord bless you!

To the Legalist Who Yearns for Freedom

Image by kempsternyc via Flickr

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Please go back and read the previous post to get the background for this one.  Also please note that this entry refers only to so-called "grey areas" in Christian behavior.  At no time do I advocate disobedience to clear commands or principles.)

Do you feel guilty about desiring to do what you see other Christians doing…things which you can't do because you've been taught that God would disapprove?  Have you found that the Scriptures really don't forbid certain activities, but your conscience still won't let you engage in them anyway?  Are you wondering how you can get the freedom to indulge as others do?

Are you hoping that someone will tell you how?

I can think of two directions to take this problem, depending on where you are spiritually.  So I'm going to start by giving you a little diagnostic quiz. 

Please tell me honestly if the following describes your current experience of Christianity:

I'm not sure I'm saved, but I'm trying to act like I am,

I don't love God, but I'm supposed to behave as if I do,

I do love sin, but I'm supposed to behave as if I don't.

Now look at the description of "license" (sinful self-indulgence) below, and tell me if it fits the way you wish you could describe your life:

I don't love God, and I wish I could act like I don't

I do love sin, and I wish I could act like I do.

If that sums up your religion, you have far deeper things to be concerned about than whether or not you can enjoy a glass of wine.  The soul described above is in mortal danger, no matter how many cigarettes it does not smoke.  What you have is mere human religion, and what you need is a miraculous work of the Holy Spirit.

But what if that does not describe you?  What if you truly are a believer; one whose love for God and hatred for sin are imperfect but growing?  What do you do if legalism holds you in its grip?

How do you find freedom?

First, I suggest you make sure you're looking for true freedom.  And true freedom is just as free not to do as it is to do.  There are many who are free to drink alcohol, but there are also many who have lost the freedom not to.  They are enslaved.  If it is truly freedom that you seek, you will not limit your search to "the freedom to do such-and-such desired behavior."  You will search for the freedom to do it and be thankful, or to abstain from it and be thankful.

He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. (Rom 14:6 NIV)

Being gratefully happy either way…either doing or not doing…doesn't that sound wonderful?

How do you achieve such freedom?  By seeking an ever-increasing love for God and an ever-growing satisfaction in His delights, so that whether you do or don't do certain fleshly activities, your heart will still be content in Him.

Is this the sort of freedom your soul longs for?  If so, I highly recommend the book that started it all for me.  It's "Desiring God," by Pastor John Piper.  You can read it online for free here, or purchase it at any Christian bookstore or online book retailer.  You may also want to read anything truly God-centered that you can get your hands on. 

Again, resist the urge to seek freedom to do a specific thing.  As long as you feel your happiness depends on your "freedom to do that," then your heart still lacks the freedom to abstain from it.  You are in chains to that desire, and your abstinence (if you manage to abstain) is joyless.

As long as your conscience forbids you to do something, do not indulge in it (Rom 14:23).  But if your heart aches for what you cannot do, bring that ache to the Lord as one who believes (or at least wants to believe) that He is the source of all the deepest joys.  Ask Him to increase your love for Him.  Seek freedom in Christ by seeking to delight first and foremost in Him.  Then trustingly obey Him so He can lead you in the right paths.  As your delight in Him grows, you may find yourself liberated to do things that you could not have safely done before.  Or, you may find yourself liberated to abstain without any serious pain.

When Christ becomes your life, your joy, your all, you will not be enslaved by anything you have, or by anything you lack.  You will not be enslaved by anything you do, or anything you cannot do.  You will be affected (sometimes profoundly) by your circumstances, but you will not be owned by them.

I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. (Php 4:11-13)

If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed! (John 8:36)

More Than Gratitude

Why do we live for Jesus?

We cannot earn our salvation.  Our fleshly good works don't impress God.  So, why do we do good works?

I've heard the question presented many times, and it's usually followed by some blank stares and uncomfortable shuffling around…until somebody pipes up and says, "We do good out of gratitude for all that Christ did for us!"  I've heard this explanation taught actively by well-known pastors and organizations.

Gratitude is wonderful.  It's essential.  If we are not profoundly, overwhelmingly grateful for what Christ did on our behalf, we'd better check our spiritual pulses.  But is that truly the only basis for our good works and obedience?

Does it matter?  Am I asking a ho-hum question here with no relevance to real life?

I think it matters a great deal, because if we can't think of any reason besides just "gratitude" for our obedience, then we're missing something vital.  Gratitude is necessary*.  It is not enough.

In fact, if we're missing some of the other foundational building blocks of obedience, there's a good chance we really don't understand just how much we have to be grateful for.  And our obedience may lack both urgency and tenacity.  Hopefully by the time we're through here, we'll not only have more reasons for obedience, but our gratitude will be even deeper than it was before.

Some of you will read this and discover that there's always been much more than gratitude underlying your obedience, even if you couldn't have named what it was.  But for some of you, this may be a strong verbal reproof.  Either way, may it be a blessing.

Let me paint you a picture.

Suppose a man is walking along a path, and at one point it diverges.  He knows that the paths meet up again in a short time.  In fact, there's really no difference between the two. 

But suppose that before this man left on his trip, he had visited with his dearest friend, who had said to him, "On your journey, when you get to the fork in the road, please take the right-hand one."  Our hypothetical man is likely to take the right-hand road as requested, simply because of his gratitude towards this old friend.  He wouldn't have any other reason to choose the right-hand road, would he?

Now, fast-forward a few years.  War has broken out, and the enemy has made terrible inroads into our man's area.  He sets out as he did before, but his friend first warns him that the left-hand fork is now enemy territory.  He's sure to be killed if he goes that way.  Now what motivates him to take the right-hand fork?  Just gratitude for his friend's good advice?  Or an awareness of the horrors of the other path?

Do you and I know what we've been saved from? 

Here's where so many evangelistic schemes show their powerlessness.  They've taught that the two forks represent Heaven and Hell.  Jesus died to save us from Hell, they say.  Once we're saved, we're always saved, so Hell is no longer an option for us to worry about.  The left fork remains in friendly hands.  There's really no difference between the two paths.  Therefore, why should we choose the right fork?  We are left with nothing but gratitude.  Humor Jesus.  After all, you owe it to Him.

Wrong.

If we say there's no reason other than gratitude, then we're like the man facing two equivalent forks.  We're saying the path of disobedience is just as viable an option as the path of obedience, as long as we avoid the unpleasant ending.

Is it?

Jesus did not come just to save us from Hell.  He came to save us from sin (Matt 1:21, Rom 6:7, Rom 6:18, Rom 6:22).  There are two paths, and they do lie in different domains.  One ends in Hell, and one ends in Heaven, but what lies along each path before the end?

Are we really going to say that there's no difference…that we have no reason other than gratitude to obey our Lord?  He died to save us from the sin that lines every step of that other path, not just from the Hell at the end! 

Christ is our life (Col 3:4), while the way of sin is the way of death (Jas 1:15).  The choices we make, even in the secret places of our minds, will determine if we breathe the noxious fumes of decay or the fresh air of the Spirit (Rom 8:6).  Will we really insult our Lord by saying the two paths are equally good, so long as you get to jump to the other one right before the end?

Do we really believe that there's no difference in value, in quality, in worth, in joy, in peace, and in happiness between a life of obedience and a life of disobedience?  Do we obey when the mood strikes, because we feel like humoring the nice guy upstairs, or do we obey with urgency and tenacity (and gratitude) because we know that walking away from Christ is walking away from our Life and into the territory of our deadly enemy? 

Look down that left-hand fork with me.  What do we see there?  Obvious sins which disgust us.  Obvious sins which should disgust us but don't.  Subtle, hidden sins.  And wait…what's that?  Why…that's our good works done in the flesh.  That's our very best efforts.  That's everything we would ever trust in if we were to put confidence in our own flesh.

Jesus died to save us from those, too.  They are nothing but filthy rags in His sight, as they ought to be in ours (Isa 64:6 NKJV, Php 3:7-8).  If our very best needs His redemption, what brazen, misplaced confidence tells us we don't need Him every moment?

Why do we walk with Him in obedience?  Is it not because we must eat and drink Him in order to live (John 6:57-58); because without Him we can do nothing (John 15:5); because He meets with those who joyfully do righteousness (Isa 64:5); because we love and believe in Him, and therefore trust what He says we should do (John 14:15)?

Dear friends, let's be grateful for more than salvation from Hell.  Let's be grateful for salvation from sin, and obediently follow the only One who is the Way of Life, believing that the truest pleasures lie at His right hand (Ps 16:11), not on the paths of disobedience.

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*Sometimes the enemy of our souls twists even a beautiful thing like gratitude into something that God never intended it to be.  John Piper tackles this issue when he discusses the danger of "The Debtor's Ethic" (PDF file available here).  He says it better than I ever could, so I'll leave that angle entirely in his capable hands.

Come and Rest

To every toiling, heavy-laden sinner, Jesus says, “Come to me and rest.”  But there are many toiling, heavy-laden believers, too.  For them this same invitation is meant.  It is not, “Go, labor on,” as perhaps you imagine.  On the contrary, it is stop, turn back, “Come to me and rest.”  Never, never did Christ send a heavy laden one to work; never, never did He send a hungry one, a weary one, a sick or sorrowing one, away on any service.  For such the Bible only says, “Come, come, come.”

Hudson Taylor

I recently had the privilege of reading Jennifer’s wonderful post about the Sabbath on the Reformed Sheology website, and it spoke to my heart in a very relevant way.  Go ahead on over and read it, and then come back here, okay?  I’ll wait for you.

You’re back?  Good. 

I loved the way Jennifer said,

“We often only consider [the Sabbath] question in terms of two choices: Saturday or Sunday. But I believe there is a third option, one that we almost never even consider, because we are too busy focusing on the wrong thing. You see, I believe God changed the Sabbath from a day to a Person. That's right: God changed the Sabbath from Saturday to Jesus Christ.” (Col. 2:16-17)

Christ is our rest!

While Jennifer focused on “resting” in Christ as it relates to our salvation, I felt it more deeply as it relates to our daily walk.  You see, while I have grappled with many deep theological issues, and I have come to a richer faith in my mind, my heart is still playing catch-up.  And though it has come a long way, it still knows far too little rest. 

I worry.

I fuss.

I fret.

I fume.

And what’s more, I feel proud of those things.  Not consciously, of course.  But when I start to try to rest in Christ, I immediately accuse myself of being irresponsible and lackadaisical.  And that must mean that I consider all of my worrying and fretting and fuming to be responsible behavior.

Can you see me?  I’m clunking the heel of my hand against my forehead.  DUH!

Jesus promised that those who come to Him would find rest (Matt. 11:28).  He told us not to worry, because our worrying is faithless and futile (Matt. 6:25-34).  I’ve known those verses since I was a little girl.

I’ve known them in my head, that is.  But like the men on the road to Emmaus, I am foolish and slow of heart (Luke 24:25).

It’s beginning to dawn on me that, not only am I commanded to stop worrying, but I’m given permission to be at rest!

That’s a cool thought, because I tend to “stress out” about commands, even the command to stop worrying!  But permission to be at rest…that sounds lovely, doesn’t it?

“It’s okay, Betsy,” my Father reassures me.  “I can run the universe without your help.”

My heart balks.  “But Lord, You have work for me to do, I know it!  I can’t just spend the rest of my earthly life on spiritual vacation, can I?”

“No,” He reminds me.  “I gave you a light and easy yoke, not a light and easy beach umbrella.  Yokes are for working.  But it’s My yoke.  I bear most of the weight.  And if you want to have the strength to carry your end, you’ll need to have My joy for your strength (Neh. 8:10).  Come to Me, take My yoke, and I will give you rest!” 

Wow.  I may have heard this sort of thing before, but it never sank in.  It couldn’t sink in, because I heard it as a call to frivolity.

The funny thing is, I tend to do far too little work!  I fear frivolity…and yet I engage in far too much of it.  Why?  Because the yoke I’ve been contemplating has not been easy, nor has the burden looked light. 

I know I need to take life’s responsibilities seriously, and I do so in the form of reading and writing and studying.  But in the actual business of physical working, while I know I need to be serious, I usually back away.  What with chronic back pain and generally low physical stamina, all physical work is daunting.  And when “I need to” meets “I can’t,” or even “I don’t think I can,” the result is paralysis.  And escapism. 

But though my physical problems are real and have an impact, most of my burden is not physical.  Most of it is mental and emotional.  And that’s a burden I’m not supposed to be carrying (Ps. 55:22).

If I had the Sabbath in my heart…the restfulness of God’s Spirit (Ps. 37:7), the joy of the Lord (Php. 4:4), the peace of God which is to rule in our hearts (Col. 3:15) and which surpasses understanding (Php. 4:7)…if I had all of those things, how much more readily could I face the demands of life?  How many of them could I actually meet?

I need more of that kind of Sabbath!

Can any of you out there relate?

(John Piper preached a wonderful sermon called, “Are You Humble Enough To Be Carefree?”  It shows clearly how much pride factors in to our insistence on worrying.  I hope you’ll check it out.)

 

Penance versus Repentance

What is repentance, really?

Is it trying really, really hard to feel bad about something you did, in order to win God’s forgiveness?

Is God up in Heaven with a Misery Meter, waiting for you to push the level up to a certain notch of guilty torment before He’ll forgive you?

Is repentance the price you have to pay so you can keep sinning?  Is it sort of like the hangover after a night of drinking…you know it’s going to hurt afterwards, but the sin is worth it?

If you can work up a good enough repentance, does that make the sinning okay?

What do you have to repent of, anyway…the sin, or the enjoying of it, or both?

How do you know when you’ve repented enough, felt sorry enough, or done enough good deeds to make up for your sin?

What about those who walk for days on their knees, or hit themselves with heavy chains and whips, or cut themselves because of their sins?  Are they repenting?

Or does repenting mean promising God that you’ll never do that particular sin again; that you’ll straighten up your act from now on?

What is repentance?

It isn’t really possible to understand repentance without first understanding what sin is.  (That link will take you to all of the entries labeled “sin” in this blog.  They’re in reverse order, so you might want to scroll all the way to the bottom and read “up” to get them in order.)  God’s word lists many sins, but there is really only one Sin underlying them all.

Sin is turning away from God.  It is trusting/loving something or someone more than God.  It is believing that life, joy, peace, or any other good thing is better found outside of God than in Him.  It is dethroning Him and putting something or someone else in His place in your heart.

If that’s what sin is, then can any of our above examples truly represent repentance?

We hurt ourselves to get forgiveness.  We try to work up sorrowful emotions to placate God.  We play Him for a fool, tossing Him a few tokens of sorrow to pay Him off, so we can keep indulging in the sins we love.  We seek to earn.  We try to impress.  We do our best to get ourselves off of the hook.  We make promises.  We, we, we.  It’s all about us.

That’s not repentance.  It’s penance.

What’s the difference?

Penance focuses on sin and on self.

Repentance focuses on God.

If sin is turning away from God and looking to self or others for what we need, then guess what…

Penance, which looks to self to earn forgiveness, is sin!

And if sin is turning away from God and looking to self or others for what we need, then what is repentance?

Repentance is realizing how foolish we were to think we could find life, joy, peace, etc in anything outside of God.  And it’s turning back to God because we’ve come to our senses and realized again that He is all we need.  It is making a you-turn from worshiping sin and self to worshiping God.  From trusting sin and self to trusting God.  From insulting God to treasuring Him.  It is a change of focus, and a reorienting of faith.

Repentance wants Christ. 

Penance just wants to find a way to continue in sin, and to avoid eternal consequences by assigning itself temporary ones. 

Repentance worships Christ, loves Him, treasures Him. 

Penance worships, loves, and treasures sin, and will pay any price to be allowed to indulge in it.

Just look at Mardi Gras.  It’s nothing but a huge celebration of sin that negates any attempts at piety or penance that may surround it. 

We celebrate what we love.  And Mardi Gras is just one vivid reminder that unrepentant sinners love sin.

To love sin is to hate Christ (Pr. 14:2, Matt. 12:30), no matter what religious activities you may indulge in to convince  yourself otherwise.  God isn’t fooled.  There is no repentance without turning from sin to Christ.

But always remember, the Christian life is a journey of growth.  There is a sense in which we repent “once for all,” when we are first awakened to see Christ and desire Him as our Savior and Lord.  That is repentance unto salvation, and it’s a precious thing. 

But we don’t ever stop repenting...not for salvation, but for our continued walk with the Lord.  It makes sense, after all.  We do slip into sin, and whenever that happens, we’ve temporarily valued something above Christ.  Repentance gets our values straight again.

And we continue to need repentance for another reason, too, not just because we still sin sometimes.  We continue to need repentance because we continue to grow.  As we grow, we recognize more of Christ’s worth, and we recognize more of our own foolishness.  We find ourselves repenting of sin that we never repented of before because we didn’t recognize it before.  Those who are not growing in repentance are not growing at all.

Does this sound like a drag?  A life of continual sorrow and misery?

It’s anything but that!

Repentance is turning toward joy!  It is recognizing that we’ve been seeking life and joy in the wrong places, and it’s turning to find them in God again.  It is pulling our noses out of the sewers and putting them back in the bakery where the Bread of Life offers Himself freely (Isa. 55:2).

Remember how King David of old prayed when he repented of his sin with Bathsheba?

Make me hear joy and gladness, that the bones You have broken may rejoice (Ps. 51:8)

Restore to me the joy of Your salvation  (Ps. 51:12)

True repentance cries out with David, “Forgive me for seeking life and joy elsewhere, and let me find them in You again!”

And Christ, who is our life (Col. 3:4) and our joy (John 15:11) is delighted to answer that prayer.  He is glad to give us Himself.

After all, He went all the way to Calvary to do just that.

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This devotional owes a great deal of its thought to Pastor John Piper, my spiritual father whom I’ve never met.  If you want to know more about God-centered living, please check out his huge store of free, downloadable audio sermons and other resources at Desiring God Ministries.

Some of the inspiration for this devotional also came from Beth Moore’s Bible Study, “When Godly People Do Ungodly Things.”

Lost and Found – Gospel 101(a)

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What was lost in Eden?

Generally, we think of Eden as the place where humanity lost its innocence, and of course that's true. But there's more to it than that. Eden was the place where humanity lost its God-centeredness, and only when we understand that will the Gospel make complete sense.

After all, what's the connection between a bite of fruit and the repetition of a "Sinner's prayer?" How does one supposedly make up for the other? Is it even possible that one could make up for the other? (If you’ve followed this blog for long, you know where I stand on that question!)

How does the Gospel restore what Eden saw fade?

Eden declared the glory of God.

If the heavens declare the glory of God now, even after the fall of man (Ps. 19:1); if all of creation still speaks of God’s eternal power and divinity (Rom. 1:20); if the knowledge of our Creator’s existence still lies embedded in every depraved soul (Rom. 1:21), then how much more were God’s attributes magnified in the perfections of Eden and in the eyes of innocent humanity? Eden was created for man, but Eden wasn’t about man. It was about God’s goodness, and man’s extraordinary privilege of enjoying that goodness to his heart’s content. His glory was their joy.

And Adam and Eve didn’t want it any other way.

You see, they met with Him, face-to-face in the garden. They knew He was their greatest joy. They knew He had made all of the lesser things that they also took pleasure in. And they knew that He was in charge of them. Adam worked because God told him to. And because no sin yet warped his soul, he enjoyed his work thoroughly.

God was their center. God was their source. God was their purpose. God was their all.

It changed when, at the suggestion of the Fallen One, they decided to look elsewhere for their happiness. And mankind has been looking elsewhere for its happiness ever since.

Somehow, the Gospel is the answer to man’s problem. And though I grew up under solid Biblical teaching, I have to confess that the Gospel never made sense to me. It seemed so arbitrary, this method God chose to make things right. It seemed like it came out of left-field, and it bore no discernible connection to my need. I was miserable in my life, and doomed in my death, and by faith I had to believe that Jesus had somehow applied His death to me in order to give me life. Okay, I’d believe it, but it seemed so bizarre.

Sure, I knew that He was punished in my place. But that didn’t make sense to me either.

If I were dying of thirst in the Badlands, and someone came up and told me, “Don’t worry. A couple of thousand years ago, thousands of miles away, someone died to give you water! When you die, you’ll have all the water you want. Do you believe that? Get up and get back to living if you do. Be happy!” Would that really meet my need?

I might be able to believe it, but I couldn’t see how it would help my parched throat now. And if anyone had wanted to help me, why would they do it that way? It just seemed so disjointed.

How is a two thousand year old gospel, or the events surrounding that old wooden cross, supposed to relate to me today? Why did He choose to save me that way?

When I dared to ask, the answer I generally got was, “Don’t question it. Just believe it.” But questions are good things, if they lead us to seek our answers in God.

In God.

As John Piper so aptly says, God is the Gospel. (Though I’ve never read that book, I’ve absorbed enough of Piper over the years to feel pretty sure of what he means by that phrase.) As Eden was about God, and as Heaven is about God, so the Gospel is all about God as well. And the Gospel that revolves around God is the only one that makes sense.

As Oswald Chambers reminds us, “Eternal life is not a gift from God. It is the gift of God.” In the Gospel, God gives us Himself.

How? What does the Gospel give us that nothing else could? I can think of a few points offhand (which sounds like it could turn into a series if I’m not careful…)

Like nothing else could, the Gospel gives us:

1. Who God is
2. What we are
3. What is the deepest need of our soul
4. How to have what we need

Yep, this is going to need at least one more entry to complete.

What are your thoughts? How does the Gospel give God to us? Why is it important that we believe it…so important that the fate of our eternal souls rests on it? Why is God so big on belief? How is the Gospel relevant to our needs…not just in an abstract way, but very practically? How does it restore what we lost? I look forward to your comments.

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Why the Old Hymns Bring Tears

Image by PinkMoose via FlickrI had a precious time in the Scriptures with my two youngest children Sunday morning. It was a divine appointment. We were supposed to be at the first hour of church/Sunday School, but we just weren't able to get it together in time. My hubby took our oldest to youth group, but the two youngest stayed home with me and got ready late.

And somehow I just knew that God wanted to meet with us.

When the kids were ready, we sat down in the Living Room and opened the book, "Don't Waste Your Life" by John Piper. I read to them from it, and some good conversation came out of that.

Then I got out the old hymnal and went looking for a song that would fit what we'd been discussing. I came upon "Jesus is All the World to Me," and I knew I'd found what I was looking for. I knew I wouldn't be able to sing it. I get too choked up. But I figured I could at least read the words to the children.

Wrong.

I got partway through, and suddenly the tears came. It worried the kids a bit, until I helped them understand that these were caused by joy, by beauty. In the end, those tears added a great deal to the sweetness of our time together.

Why can't I sing hymns any more? Why the huge lump in my throat, and the streams from my eyes?

Partly its the joy of seeing old friends. The songs themselves, I mean. So many precious friends rest hidden in between the covers of that old hymnal...friends that filled my mouth not just on Sunday mornings, but throughout the week. Friends that visited me over the radio. Friends that I sang next to my dear Nana in the choir loft, where she taught me to sing harmony. So many friends that I haven't seen in far too long. They've been replaced in church services by the new songs on the block.

I miss them. And when I get to sing them again, it's too sweet to bear, especially when we slow down and sing them at a pace that lets me savor the words.

Sometimes the tears come because of old associations. Faces of those long gone, who once stood beside me and sang those sacred words with me. That's true of all the old familiar hymns, because I sang them all with my loved ones so many times. But there's one hymn in particular that slays me because of a very strong tie to particular people. I had never even heard "Be Thou My Vision" until my uncle and aunt chose that as their "life song." They had lived far from the Lord for decades, but had repented and turned to Him, and then felt called to the mission field in Ireland. "Be Thou My Vision" was sung at their dedication service, and in my heart it is forever linked with them.

My uncle was killed in a motorcycle accident several years ago. I can't help but weep when I sing that song now. Or rather, when I mouth it. I can't actually sing it around the lump in my throat.

Partly hymns make me weep because of the deep meaning of their words. Modern songs sometimes can match their earlier counterparts for depth and richness. "In Christ Alone" is an exceptional example of a song almost too good to be new. I'm thankful for those types of songs, and glad that we sing them in our church. Some of them bring tears, too.

But there's a slightly different taste to the tears that come from the old hymns, and I've recently realized what it is.

It's fulfillment.

Think of a movie that has made you weep because of its happy ending. Think how the fulfillment of the promise of joy at the end felt so moving, especially contrasted with whatever hardships had to be overcome to get there.

That's what I feel from the old hymns. When I sang them as a child, they were unproven theories. Untested promises. Unfelt praise to an as-yet unknown God. I enjoyed them then, but they were only implanted seeds. I could not yet taste the fruit of promises kept.

Now I taste it.

Oh, the hardships I've known on my way here! The grief, the heartache, the overwhelmedness... and all of that only makes today's joys sweeter. Jesus is becoming "all the world to me." I've spent time "In the Garden," and I know there really is delight in His presence there. I've truly come to cherish "The Old Rugged Cross." Jesus is becoming my vision. "Trust and Obey" is starting to take root and blossom.

And all of the old associations become more precious. It's not just that I used to sing that song with Nana. It's that Nana now enjoys, with unveiled face, the God about whom we sang. And call me corny, but I feel a growing kinship with people I've never met, people perhaps in long prairie skirts and bonnets, singing the same words a hundred years ago. I feel as if my voice joins in a chorus that stretches back through time, all affirming the eternal goodness of our mighty God.

And when you boil it all down to its main point, it's really Him. The greatest sweetness of all is not just that promises were fulfilled, but that He fulfilled them. I feel no kinship with anyone who sings hymns only out of religious duty. I sing in chorus with those who love Him, who cherish Him, who praise Him, many of whom now see Him face-to-face. He is the promise of the hymns, and the fulfillment of them. He is their melody, and their harmony. He is their heartbeat.

Why do the old hymns bring tears? Because they touch me with the music of the One I love.

Feeling His Grip

I have written a bit in previous entries about times of great hardship in my life, and how God has been turning them for good. Perhaps this would be a good place to add a link to a bit of free verse that I wrote to express the pain of those times. You can find it here if you're interested. I've been told that it is very painful to read, and I wrote it some 6 years after the worst of it was already over. I don't think I could have found the words when I was in the midst of it all. Nor would I have had the time or freedom to write back then. I'm so grateful to be able to write now!

God brought at least two great blessings from that time. One (covered in an earlier entry) was allowing me to see my sin more clearly. The second was making me feel His grip on me.

Without that divine grip I would be lost, because I wasn't holding on to Him. I couldn't.

John Piper explains in this sermon :

"Hebrews 3:14 [says] we have become [note the tense of the verb!] partakers of Christ, if we hold fast the beginning of our assurance [well-grounded assurance, not false assurance] firm until the end. (NASB).
Note carefully: it does not say that you will become a partaker of Christ if you persevere. It says you HAVE become a partaker if you persevere. The point is that persevering does not earn your participation in Christ; it verifies your participation in Christ. Perseverance is not a payment for getting into Christ. It is a proof that you are in Christ." (Emphasis added.)

If we belong to Christ, it's not because we were strong enough to hold onto Him. It's because He's strong enough to hold onto us. I know this is true, because it's exactly what happened in my life.

I was SO ANGRY with God! I wanted to reject Him as much as I felt He had rejected me. I felt like an animal in a very small cage, surrounded by tormentors who poked electric prods through the bars and sent jolts of agony through me at every moment. I had no reserves to draw on anymore. I was spent, drained, hopeless, under seige, seething with fury...and trying to mother three small children in diapers, two of whom had special needs. I lived in a new town where I had no support network at all. And my husband's new employer, who had hired him with the promise of "very little travel," had immediately changed his job description and started sending him out of the country for weeks at a time.

I never got more than a few hours of sleep in every twenty-four. Just a few, snatched in between marathon sessions of holding my screaming son.

I pleaded with God endlessly, but there was no relief. I didn't reach out to any of the strangers around me, or to any organizations, because I didn't know how to trust anyone. I didn't feel like I had a right to burden anyone, either.

God could have done something. He should have done something, shouldn't He? I couldn't imagine any good reason for it all, and I couldn't take it. I just couldn't bear it.

But I had no choice. And so I said those awful things to Him, and decided I would never waste my time speaking to Him again, since He couldn't be bothered to answer me. I wanted to tell Him to get out of my life and leave me alone...but I couldn't. When I tried, my heart would break.

I could feel His Spirit holding me. He gave me no comfort at that point. He gave me no insight, no noticeable growth, no relief of any kind. But He held me fast. That much I could feel. And sometimes I was even able to thank God for that. Sometimes.

Don't tell me that my faith was stronger than I thought. Don't tell me that God put all of this on me because He knew I could handle it. Don't tell me that He must have had confidence in me. Don't you dare.

He held me. Period. I felt Him, and I felt my own utter destitution. My life depended on His grip, because mine was long since gone. It was all of Him, and none of me.

What an unspeakable gift!

He held me. He held me! Through it all, even when I tried to push Him away, He held me. Yes, He held me in a painful situation instead of taking me out of it, but that was for my good, and that is a different point.

When I think back to that time, I don't think of God as cruel, heartless, or unjust. I think of Him as loyal, utterly committed, gracious, and trustworthy.

He held me! And if He found it in His heart to hold me through all of that, then He'll never let me go. That's far greater comfort than anything you could tell me about my own supposed strength or merit.

I'm safe in His hands because of who He is.


(Photo from Stock.xchng by andreyutzu)(Blurring effects added)

It's a Faith Problem

I'm determined not to make this a "me-centered" blog. Nobody on this earth will benefit from any focus on me. But I hope you'll forgive me if I try to find God-centeredness from the vantage point of where I am now, because I've been caught in a morass of self-centeredness for a couple of days. I want to take the Biblical truths that speak to my situation (with a lot of thanks to John Piper for helping me see them) and use them to fight the good fight of faith.

I could try blaming my spiritual lapse on physical circumstances. There were definitely hormones at work, and I wasn't feeling well in other ways, too. But that's no excuse. Everybody has those problems sometimes, and people don't always succumb to self-absorption in the midst of them. Jesus had to deal with adolescent male hormones, and it doesn't get any worse than that! He didn't sin.

I could try blaming it on family circumstances. "The kids did this. The house is like that." Nope. That won't work either. Jesus deals with His rebellious children 24/7, and has done so from day one of fallen human history. He doesn't sin. Besides, what kind of cowardly adult puts the responsibility of her own actions on the shoulders of little kids? How many times have I told the kids not to blame others for what they choose to do?

I could try blaming it on the circumstances of my own upbringing. Yeah, right. Like I haven't had decades to work through all of that.

All of those sorts of things may contribute to a spiritual fall, but they don't excuse such falls.

Life hurts. It does. It's hard, and it's hard to hope sometimes. So it's easy to justify a little self-indulgence, isn't it? It's easy to say, "I deserve this little escape."

Oh, the deceptiveness of sin!

It's easy to see the self-centeredness in the focus on what "I deserve," especially when we decide we deserve better than what we're getting. But that's not the biggest problem with the "I deserve this sin" point of view.

"I deserve this sin" is one of the worst insults we can give to God.

Think about that word, "deserve." It goes hand-in-hand with a value judgment. Advertisers know this. "Don't you deserve to treat yourself to our product?" That's not just an appeal to pride. It's also the value judgment that "our product" is the best.

When I want to indulge myself, do I head for the Brussels Sprouts or the chocolate? Easy choice! I go for what I like best!

Why is it that, when we want to indulge ourselves, we turn to sin? Is it not because, deep down inside, we still believe that sin is best?

It's a faith problem.

Jesus said, "And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil." (John 3:19, emphasis mine)

We are condemned for loving darkness rather than light. That's a faith problem. And faith in God is so much more than believing a list of facts about God.

When I choose sin over God, I am saying that God is inferior to that sin. I am loving darkness rather than light. I am trusting my own desires for myself, instead of trusting in God's commands for my good; trusting that I know better than God does what's best for me. What kind of "faith in God" is that?

If such faith is the norm for us, if we know that we do not love God, and do not believe that His ways are best, then we need to examine ourselves as to whether we're in the faith (2Co. 13:5). There's a good chance that we are not.

But what about those of us who are amazed to be able to say that we are saved? We know that Jesus Christ is in us (2 Co. 13:5) because His Spirit is in us, bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God (Rom. 8:16). We are growing more and more convinced, through the working of His Spirit within us, that God is far superior to the pleasures of sin, and that He is more worthy of our trust that we ourselves are. In other words, we have the kind of faith that comes as a gift from His Spirit and through which, by grace, He saves us (Eph 2:8-9). But we are still plagued with weakness, which shows itself in a nagging desire to indulge in sin, in times of believing that sin will be better than trustful obedience "just this once." We aren't lost, but the enemy of our souls still has strongholds in our lives.

We still have a faith problem. So what do we do with that?

What do I do when I know I've been indulging in self-centeredness again (despite having just written a very heartfelt entry about God-centeredness just a few days ago)? What do I do with the discouragement that I feel right now, when I just want to throw in the towel and say, "Forget it, I give up" (despite having written a very heartfelt entry about encouragement a couple of days ago)?

How do I...how do we fight the good fight of faith?

First of all, it's not a matter of strengthening our faith, per se. It's a matter of re-orienting it. We have very strong faith...in the wrong things. I'll mention some of the places where I struggle, and I'll bet you can relate to at least some of them.

• I have faith that I can do myself more good by withdrawing than by loving, even though God tells me the opposite.
  
• I have faith that I am better off focusing on everything the Lord tells me not to focus on.
  
• I have the kind of perverse faith that says my own assessment of my life situation is accurate (i.e. it's hopeless), even though God tells me to hope in Him.
  

I can sit back now and look at those things and see God's truth from Satan's lie very easily. So why do I fall for those lies so often?

More on that tomorrow.

For tonight, it's enough to say that I need to come before God and admit that my faith has been in the wrong things, and that I have insulted Him by preferring the passing pleasures of sin. I need to ask His forgiveness, and then receive that forgiveness with thanksgiving. And then I need to trust the Lord by "waiting for Him in the way of His judgments," until He sees fit to bring the sun out again.

He always does.




(Photo from Stock.xchng by LilGoldWmn)

Does God Get Discouraged?

He will not fail nor be discouraged, till He has established justice in the earth (Isa 42:4)



We often remind ourselves about God's ultimate victory, and the fact that He does not, can not, will not fail.

But how often do we remember that He does not get discouraged?

What a glorious, beautiful truth this is!

As Pastor John Piper reminds us, God's own happiness is the basis for our happiness. And God is happy for many reasons, not the least of which is the fact that He cannot be thwarted in any way.

He will not be discouraged.

Is it safe for me to assume that many of you are easily discouraged, just like I am? Or perhaps, even though it's not easy to discourage you, it has happened anyway because things have simply become too overwhelming. At times like that, for people like us, it's helpful to remember God's victory, of course. But how much more assurance we can feel when we see His matchless self-confidence!

He will not be discouraged.

He has known from eternity past where the planets would be in their orbits right at this moment. And He has known just as long the alignments of governments and world powers. He has known the fall of the sparrow in the forest, and the hairs on our heads. What's more, He has not only known these things, but has ordained them. If you're a serious student of the Word, you know all of that. But it's not very encouraging to look at those facts if we picture our God as downcast, gloomy, irritable and frustrated because he's not certain how everything will turn out.

He is certain.

He will not be discouraged.

My mother was never calmer than when one of us needed to draw courage from her. I've seen wheedling parents pleading with their distressed children, whining like children themselves, and their children never fail to fall completely to pieces when they see their parents so undone. I'm sure you've seen this kind of scene: two children fall and scuff their knees a bit. Neither one begins to cry, because it wasn't really that bad. The mother of one child calmly says, "Well, it's okay. You're all right," and the child happily trots back to his playing. The other mother runs in a near panic, frantic over what has happened, and her formerly calm child dissolves into tears. If Mother thinks it's a tragedy, it must be one!

Our Heavenly Father has no fears about what is happening in your life right now, or in mine. I do not mean that He is callous or indifferent. I mean that He is utterly confident and perfectly competent to fulfill His promises to us.

He will not be discouraged.

To be discouraged simply means to lose one's courage, and it's a dangerous thing. Fear lashes out like a wounded animal that attacks its would-be rescuers. It isolates us in a prison with walls thicker than any ever made with brick and mortar. Cowardliness leads to lying, to cheating, to blame-shifting, to avoidance of even healthy risk. Fear protects itself at any cost, while love counts no sacrifice too great. It's true that perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18), and a little careful thought will show the inverse to be true as well. Where fear grows stronger, love is increasingly lost.

The great Scottish preacher George H. Morrison (1866-1928) tells us:

"We never can be patient without courage, and without courage we never can be pure. It calls for a little courage to be truthful, and it calls for a little courage to be kind. And sometimes it takes a great deal of courage just to say what we ought to say, and sometimes it takes more courage to say nothing. Do you know the commonest command in Scripture? The commonest command in Scripture is Fear not. Times without number in the Word of God it rings out upon us, Thou shalt not be afraid. For courage is at the roots of life, and it is the soil in which every virtue flourishes; it is no isolated or independent grace, but is the nursing mother of them all."

Do you know that God will not be discouraged?

I admit I never thought about the courage of our Lord until I was talking to my sons about the atonement a couple of years ago. My middle son, who is autistic, listened in silence until I talked about the crucifixion, and the fact that Jesus went willingly to Calvary for us. My son's eyes widened at that, and he said, "He was brave!"

Out of the mouths of babes!

Morrison says again, "I suppose there was never anyone on earth quite so courageous as our Savior Jesus Christ. Yet give a pagan that life of His to read, and I do not think he would say, How brave He was! He would say, How loving He was—how infinitely patient—how radiantly peaceful in the teeth of calumny; yet love and patience and radiance and peace were but His matchless courage in disguise."

Jesus' courage of course came from his own divine resources. But do you know that He can encourage you from the depths of His own courageous heart, the heart that faced Pilate without wavering, faced the Roman scourge and screamed (no doubt) under it's agony - but without faltering in His purpose, and faced Calvary without flinching?

He does not go to some celestial storehouse to find a box of courage to hand to his people when they need it. He has limitless stores of it right in His own heart, and He gives it liberally. Can you see it now, how it marks His features with a calmness and peace and confidence that seems to lighten your load as you look at it?

He will not be discouraged. And because of His courage, and His encouragement, we need never be discouraged either.

"Consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls." (Heb. 12:3)

He will not be discouraged!











(Photo taken by Betsy Markman in Colorado Springs, Colorado)

What's this "Cloud of Witnesses" about?

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us (Heb 12:1)
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I hate feeling pressured.

This verse used to have that effect on me. Of course I knew that these witnesses were the people mentioned in the great "Hall of Faith" in the previous chapter. They were superheroes of the past who were tortured and martyred for their faith in God. I would read about them with awe. Then I would arrive at Chapter 12, and I would read about them forming a great cloud of witnesses, which was supposed to make me keep pressing on in my own race toward the finish line.

Teachers would tell me that those people were all surrounding me, watching my progress and cheering me on. But I couldn't believe they would actually be cheering for me, since I knew I wasn't making any great strides at that point in my life. So the thought of all of those spiritual giants surrounding me and watching me quickly became oppressive. Instead of making me want to endure, it made me want to quit, knowing I could never be as strong and brave as they were.

Ok, so maybe I was weird, but that's really the effect it had on me. Did it have that effect on anyone else?

Anyway, over the past few years I've been greatly enjoying the teaching ministry of Pastor John Piper, and if there's any one thing that Piper is known for, it's God-centeredness. That's a well I love to drink deeply from, and it has given me a whole new perspective on this verse.

Jesus said, "You shall be My witnesses" (Acts 1:8).

Paul said, "For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. " (1Co 2:2)

Peter said, "To Him all the prophets witness that, through His name, whoever believes in Him will receive remission of sins." (Acts 10:43)

Paul and Barnabas said, "Nevertheless He did not leave Himself without witness, in that He did good, gave us rain from heaven and fruitful seasons, filling our hearts with food and gladness." (Acts 14:17)

Ananias (the devout one) said to Saul of Tarsus, "For you will be His witness to all men of what you have seen and heard." (Acts 22:15)

Jesus said to Saul, "But rise and stand on your feet; for I have appeared to you for this purpose, to make you a minister and a witness both of the things which you have seen and of the things which I will yet reveal to you. " (Acts 26:16)

Of course there are other verses that use the term "Witness" to refer to other things. But there does seem to be a strong trend toward God-centeredness when speaking of witnessing. And since the Bible is indisputably a God-centric book, that's not surprising.

So what's with this cloud of witnesses? Well, perhaps they do cheer us on. That's a happy thought. But with what do they cheer us? To what do they witness?

If God opened up my spiritual ears right now so that I could hear what those witnesses were saying, I'm sure I'd be encouraged if they said things like, "You're doing great." In fact, I wouldn't only be encouraged, I'd be astonished! But I think I'd also be disappointed if that was most of what they said. You see, if their focus was centered on me, and they were witnesses of what I was doing, or of my worth, it wouldn't be enough for me. I would have plenty of reasons to doubt their assessment, since my own sin and failure are so clear to me. I would feel, frankly, like they were no better than the pop-psychology gurus of our day who go around stroking everyone's egos, convinced that the greatest thing anyone can do is worship his own reflection. That's shallow. I don't want it.

I wish I could hear those witnesses. Do you know who I think they would witness about? Do you know what I think they would be saying with all the conviction of their hearts and souls, with all the joy and fervor and love that fills everyone in Heaven?

"God is worth it all! He is so worth it! His beauty and His love and His perfection and His grace and His hope and His peace really are enough to sustain you and give you joy, even if they take all of your things and your family abandons you and you're tortured and imprisoned and killed. We know! We've been there. We're just ordinary people, but God came through for us! When we went through our tribulations, He drew closer to us than we ever could have imagined, and He'll do the same for you. When He reveals Himself more fully to you in your heart, you will be so glad to count all things as loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus our Lord! You will never regret it, because He is so wonderful!"

That, my friends, is the kind of "Cloud of Witnesses" that makes me want to pick up my weary feet and run some more. May we be such God-centered witnesses even before we leave this earth!



(Photo from Stock.xchng by Mordoc, edited for this site)