What Can You Give to God Every Day?

Photo by Robert Hurst 

Not long ago I felt inspired by this post from my favorite blogger, Tim Challies.  It is about consciously dedicating things like your time, energy, and enthusiasm to God every morning.  I decided to start praying through them in the mornings, and soon I found myself adding more.  I thought I should share these with you, because I find them very helpful in my own walk.  (Not that I'm an expert in living this way...far from it!  But this is the direction I believe He wants me to grow.)
Please let me know in the comments if you think of anything else that would be helpful to add to these morning prayers!

My morning dedications:

• I dedicate to You the gifts and talents that You have given me, to be used for Your glory.
• I dedicate to You the time that You have given me, for I am only time's steward in Your service.
• I dedicate to you the energy You have given me, for pursuing Your will.  I will trust You to supply moment-by-moment energy when I have no supply of my own.
• I dedicate to You my enthusiasm, for Your joy and Your promises to shine through.
• I give to you my cares and anxieties over the circumstances You have given me, for the praise of Your peace and Your sovereignty.
• I dedicate to You my reputation and honor, for You to raise or lower in the eyes of man as You see fit, because You laid aside Your glory for me, and You have promised to clothe me with Your glory forever.
• I dedicate to You my weakness, to be used for the glory of Your strength, rather than using it myself as an excuse to bury what You have entrusted to me (Matt 25:14-30).
• I dedicate to You my thoughts and imaginings, because Your thoughts are higher than my thoughts, and You have prepared blessings for me that are beyond imagining.
• I place on your altar my self-sufficiency and self-confidence, to replace with Your sufficiency, and with confidence in You.
• I dedicate to You my best-laid plans, for You to establish or overrule as You see fit, because Your plans are perfect.
• I leave in Your hands every "sacrifice" I've given, not trying to control what You do with them.  If you are pleased to make them into obvious blessings, or to burn them to ashes on Your altar, I will rest in Your acceptance of them.  I will trust You that nothing is lost.
• I dedicate my all to You, Lord.  You gave all to me, and You have told me that all things are mine in You (1 Co. 3:21-23).

I Would Spare You Regret

Photo Source

I know I've written about this sort of thing before, but it's been a few years, and I need the review myself.

I would spare you my regrets.

My greatest regrets have come from the times when I've traded away love, or joy, or obedience, or humility, or hope, or trust.  And what have I usually traded them for?

Control.  The power to make something unpleasant stop, or to make something pleasant start.  

But as hard as it is for us to believe in the midst of painful, scary, or frustrating situations, the fact is that the fruits and gifts of the Spirit are worth infinitely more than control (or the illusion of control).

Love, obedience, joy and all the rest... these were purchased for us at the cost of the unimaginable agonies of Calvary. What will you and I trade those things for? How cheaply will you and I sell them off today... maybe even this hour?

God forbid!

Whenever you are reading this, please stop and pray.  Thank the Lord for His peace, love, hope, joy, and all the rest.  And prayerfully determine, by His grace, that in this hour you will not trade away so cheaply what He purchased with His blood.  Purpose not to attempt this in your own strength (that's impossible), but to be mindful of what's at stake, and to prayerfully cling to Him in whatever the hour may bring.

And then, the next hour, do it again by His grace.

The following suggestion will not apply to everyone. But in my own case I've found it helpful to install an app* on my phone that makes a little noise at the top of every hour. (I have it set not to disturb me during sleeping hours.) I use that little noise as a reminder to thank the Lord for the previous hour, and to confess any sins committed. I acknowledge His lordship over the coming hour, and my responsibility to honor and obey Him in it.  And so, when I fall into bed at the end of the day, I don't find myself struggling to orient my heart to Him, as I would if I'd ignored Him all day in favor of pursuing my own agendas.

And I come to Him without regrets.

I emphatically do NOT recommend such hourly reminders for anyone who would find them unpleasant. No one likes to be nagged. But if such a reminder would be a pleasure and a help to your heart, as it is to mine, then go for it!

But whatever you do, don't trade away priceless gifts for things which will only leave you sorry.

*There are many such apps available.  This happens to be the one I use.

I Can Do What Things?

English: Saint paul arrested (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The great Apostle Paul said, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

So why didn't he pray up an earthquake to rescue himself from prison every time he was in there, like the one that rescued him and Silas in Philippi?

Why didn't he power his way out of floggings and stonings?

Why didn't he just keep those ships afloat instead of suffering shipwreck two times?

Why didn't he pull together a slick presentation that wowed everybody's socks off and made everybody fawn over him, instead of being slandered, beaten, hated, and drummed out of town all the time?

C'mon, Paul, why didn't you do those things?  Don't you know what you wrote?  Don't you know "all things" means ALL THINGS?  You should be healthy, wealthy, and loved everywhere you go!

You should be enjoying your best life now!

But what if "all things" doesn't mean "everything we want?"  Everything we think is best?

Does "all" always mean "Anything in the universe," or does God say "all" within pre-defined parameters?

When I took my little kids to the store and (on rare occasions) pointed to the candy display and said, "Pick whatever you want," was I inviting them to rush away to the sporting goods section and pick out a bike?  Of course not!

What are our parameters?  What are the limits of God's "all?"

Paul knew what God's power in his life was for.

I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me (Php 4:11-13).

Paul knew that God's power was there to enable him to suffer well.  He also knew that God's power was there to enable him to receive God's pleasant gifts unselfishly, and to use them for ministry rather than for his own luxury.

And where did he get this perspective?  Do you remember what God promised when He told Ananias about His decision to save Paul and use him for gospel ministry?

"I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name.” (Acts 9:16)

"Well that's all well and good for Paul," you may say, "but God never said anything like that to me!"

Didn't he?  Have you ever read Luke 6:20-36?  Were His disciples lying to the suffering Christians in Acts 14:22?

Jesus probably hasn't told any of us what we're going to suffer, but He has promised us that we will suffer (John 16:33).

So if "all things" doesn't mean delivering ourselves from suffering, then what good is it?

It means that whatever God has put in your life, whether suffering or pleasure, He will enable you to turn both of these temporary things into eternal treasures as you endure or enjoy them with contentment.

"I have learned to be content in all circumstances...I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Christian power doesn't come by rebuking so-called "demons of whatever I don't like" (which we'd better be cautious about doing anyway, Jude 1:8-10).  It doesn't come by "naming it and claiming it" (2 Co 12:8-9).  

Christian power comes through the immovable strength of contentment in Christ Himself.  Contentment, in fact, is nothing more than the peace which comes from faith in a good and loving God who will "work all things (including suffering) together for the good of those who love Him" (Rom 8:28).

Contentment strengthened Paul to go back to minister in places where his life was threatened.

Contentment strengthened Paul to sit in a dank, filthy prison, chained to guards night and day, with his back lacerated by brutal whippings, and to write epistles which overflowed with love, praise, and joy.  And every time we read Paul's epistles, we who love God are still receiving the promised "good" which God brought from those incredible sufferings.

Will you pray for the faith-filled contentment which is the only thing that will empower you to love and serve and praise and rejoice in the midst of your tears and tiredness?

Godliness with contentment is great gain indeed (1 Tim 6:6).

A Loving Challenge to My Fellow Eaters

A chocolate-chip cookie. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Dear consumer of food,

I'm not concerned at this moment with whether you're a healthy eater, a glutton (ahem...like me...), or someone who barely eats at all.

I'm challenged to think about the reason God gives us food.

Yes, of course it's because we need it, and He loves us.  But what do we need it for?

To keep our hearts beating?  Sure, but beyond that, what?

Lately I've been having auditory memories of the same few words:  the words my father habitually said as "grace" before our meals.

"Thank You, Lord, for this food.
Please nourish it to our bodies, and our bodies to Thy service.
In Jesus Name, Amen."

Grammatical error aside, there was some awfully good theology in that prayer, but I never paid attention to it as a child.  Never, in fact, until it began echoing in my brain a few days ago...decades after I stopped hearing him say it.

"Nourish it to our bodies, and our bodies to Thy service."

I prayed it aloud at our dinner table last night for the first time.  Not the exact words, but the same concept.  "May we never forget that you created us in Christ Jesus to do good works, which You prepared in advance for us to do.  Help us to remember always that the strength which You give us through food is to be used for serving You."

Suddenly, the meal felt holy.

Will you join me in looking at food this way?  That's my challenge:

- To the healthy eater:  Do you eat healthy food only so you'll feel great and look great, or so that you'll be fit to carry on in His service?  Will you pray about that before eating?

-  To the glutton:  Will you...will I... commit to praying such a dedication before we consider doing what we always do... indulging simply because we loooove (worship?) food?  Is this handful of chocolate chips something we honestly could consume to His glory and His service?

-  To the anorexic/bulemic:  Can you thank God that this food is designed to strengthen you for the good works He designed for you to do, and then consume it for His glory, with thanksgiving?

Please comment below if you're willing to join me in this.  Thank you!

Prayers For Daydreamers (And Other Mental Escapists)

Photo by Vera Kratochvil        

I confess, I'm a daydreamer.

Okay, to be more honest, I'm an extreme daydreamer.  Or perhaps "pathological" would be a more honest word.

Perhaps you don't daydream...but you DO fill up your mind with other people's imaginations in the form of novels, TV shows, and movies.  Or perhaps you feast your mind on endless video games.  Whatever your mental escape may be, it's probably fine in small doses.

The problem with me was, daydreaming became a drug.  It became Escape.  I never had to "be there" mentally, even if I was there physically.

Do you have a problem with mental escapism?  Perhaps, like me, one of the reasons you find it easy to slip into "escape mode" is that it's hard to see what's wrong with it.  If that describes you, and you really don't feel like you're missing out on anything by excessive escaping, you'll definitely want to prayerfully consider the requests I've written below.

Or, perhaps your form(s) of escapism have become an addiction...as I'm ashamed to admit they have with me. Especially my imagination; my skill at weaving compelling dramas in my head.  It's so much a part of me that I hardly feel like it's optional.  The stories are always there, always waiting, always beckoning, always entertaining, always seeming to fulfill a need.

In fact, our mental escapes are far more responsive than God is.  We've got to wait on the Lord, but entertaining screens are never far away.  We never have to wait for our imagination either.  And how do you walk away from a drug that literally resides inside your head?  There's no passing by the fantasy counter, the way people can choose to pass by the cigarette counter.

But after a while, as Christians, we have to come to terms with the fact that we love and trust our oh-so-available escapes more than we love and trust the God we can't control.

Then what do we do?

Scripture tells us that conquering bad habits by mere force of will doesn't make us righteous before God.  That's the Pharisaical approach, and it only trades the original sin for the greater sin of religious pride.

Romans 8 tells us that we must put sinful deeds to death "by the Spirit."

And how does the Spirit work?  He works by drawing us to read the Scriptures, illuminating it to our minds, helping us love and revere God as revealed in His Word (and to love His word for revealing Him to us), recalling the truth to our minds (especially if we memorized it), teaching us to love what God loves and hate what God hates, and changing our hearts to want to obey Him.  In this way, He turns our hearts onto the right paths.

So I decided to attack the problem of excessive daydreaming with some specifically targeted prayers, ones which help me aim for ways to pursue a joy in Christ that's better than mental escapism.  And I thought I'd share them with you, in case I'm not the only one with this problem.  So without further ado, here are:

Prayers for Daydreamers
(and other mental escapists)

1. Father, instead of daydreaming/mentally escaping today, may I love the Lord my God with all my mind.  If love is spelled "T-I-M-E," then my mind is loving its constant escapes more than I love You.  Help my mind to be set on You and seeking you more and more of the time.

2. Instead of daydreaming/mentally escaping, by Your grace may I obey the command to "Love my neighbor as myself."  Because the fact is, I can't recognize my neighbor's needs or prioritize them in my life if I'm wrapped up in my fantasy world. 

3. Help me to "Walk as as child of light, trying to discern what is pleasing to the Lord" (Eph 5:8-10).  I can't be constantly trying to discern what is pleasing to the Lord in my real circumstances if I'm daydreaming about being in different ones.

4.  Help to obey Your command that says, "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men."  Forgive me, Lord, that I used to think this meant "Try not to mind the work by distracting myself with my imagination."  After all, what's heartier than my imagination?  But no, it means putting my heart into the work itself in order to lovingly serve others and willingly obey You in the situation You've actually created for me.  It means "redeeming the time," in my real world.

5.  Spirit, please help me to "In everything give thanks."   Daydreaming prevents me from noticing things to be thankful for, or from even committing to noticing them.

6. Help me to remember that I can't "Behold the Lord and be changed into His image, from one degree of glory to another" (2 Co 3:18) if I'm constantly beholding the contents of my imagination instead.

7.  Help me, Spirit, to obey the command: "You shall meditate on God's Word day and night, that you may be careful to do it."  Ignoring Your Word is the same as disdaining Your commands, Your promises, and Your blessings.  It means not caring whether I obey You or not.

8. Help me to "Pray without ceasing."  I clearly can't do that while mentally escaping into fantasy or video games.

9. Help me to receive the blessings of Truth, such as sanctification (John 17:17) and freedom (John 8:32).  All commands, promises, and blessings related to Truth are blocked by an insistence on living with the mind marinating in what is not true. The blessings of Truth can only be applied to my actual reality, even in all its periodic ugliness.

10. Help me to cooperate with You as You prepare my heart to "Go to Him outside the camp, bearing His reproach" (Heb. 13:13)  In our daydreams we feed our lust for glory, we dream of human accolades, we focus on mastery rather than dependence, and we further unfit our hearts for bearing His reproach.

Can you see how different this is from "white-knuckle fighting" with our sin?  By the Spirit we seek to love God more, to find our joy in God instead of in sin.  He alone makes that possible, because we can't change our hearts ourselves.  But we can and must choose to seek Him, to "fight the good fight" against our tendency to believe the promises of sin more than the promises of God.  We can and must pray and wrestle and repent in the fight for the greatest joy there is...the joy of believing and knowing Him.

Me? Rejoicing at Wrongdoing?

Pile of stones (Photo credit: Michel.h)

Love your enemies (Matt 5:44)

Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing.  (1 Co. 13:6)

You, good Christian, are certainly not someone who rejoices at wrongdoing, right?  Same here.

Why, we hate wrongdoing!  We prove it every chance we get!  We are so diligent about jumping on every sin we hear about in public figures, and personally lambasting the offenders on Facebook or wherever else we can do so.  Nobody could ever deny how much we hate wrongdoing!

Nobody clucks their tongues louder than we do.  Nobody's voice can get more shrill.  Nobody's quicker on the draw with the social media megaphone...and why should we wait for verification of the facts we're spreading?  Why would we hope that the badness might be less bad than we thought, when it feels so good to hate those people?

Why, it's a pure, delicious pleasure to be horrified, offended, and hit that "Share" button with righteous indignation.

Yep.  It shows.  The pleasure, that is.  It shows.

It's called, "Rejoicing in wrongdoing."  We mustn't kid ourselves.  That's exactly what it is.

And love does not do that.

When we do that, we are not loving our enemies.  We are loving their sin, because we love feeling superior.

We love licking our chops and diving in for the kill.

We love being offended at those who we feel are wrongfully offended by us, or by the things we hold dear.

We love hating the haters, mocking the mockers, attacking the attackers.

It feels so good.

And it's eating away at our souls.

C. S. Lewis addresses this better than anybody.

"Suppose one reads a story of filthy atrocities in the paper.  Then suppose that something turns up suggesting that the story might not be quite true, or not quite so bad as it was made out.  Is one's first feeling, 'Thank God, even they aren't quite so bad as that,' or is it a feeling of disappointment, and even a determination to cling to the first story for the sheer pleasure of thinking your enemies as bad as possible?  If it is the second then it is, I am afraid, the first step in a process which, if followed to the end, will make us into devils.  You see, one is beginning to wish that black was a little blacker.  If we give that wish [free rein], later on we shall wish to see grey as black, and then to see white itself as black.  Finally, we shall insist on seeing everything - God and our friends and ourselves included - as bad, and not be able to stop doing it; we shall be fixed forever in a universe of pure hatred."  (From "Mere Christianity.")

Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing.

Christians...you and I who claim to follow Christ...when was the last time we followed Him into praying for those who persecute and mistreat us, or who sin against us in some other way? When was the last time we mourned over our neighbor's sin and wept for his soul, rather than hurrying to click, rejoicing at the chance for a social media scandal?  When was the last time we followed Christ into dying to self for our enemies' sakes?

When was the last time we followed Christ?

Yes, there's a time to speak against what is wrong!  But no, there's never a time to rejoice and prepare to feast on our neighbor's downfall.  Not in this Age of Grace; grace without which we, too, would be damned.

How, with rocks in our hands, will we ever help our enemy believe we follow a merciful, forgiving Savior?  Is that even what we want him to believe?  (It had BETTER be!  But search your heart, really, and I'll search mine.  Because I fear that it's not always our desire.)

As long as we clutch our rocks and rejoice in the throwing, we're utterly, damnably blind to our own corruption.

And we will only be forgiven as we forgive.  (Matt 18:32-35)

We will only receive mercy as we give it.  (Matt 5:7)

We will only receive grace as we are humble.  (James 4:6)

Ever wonder why nobody out there believes we're children of the One True God?

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God."  (Matt 5:9)

May God forgive us for rejoicing in wrongdoing, and failing to love our enemies.

May God forgive me.  Because I know I've been there.  I've done that. But this week an organization which I care about, and for which I meet with others to pray regularly, has been the victim of a viral whirlwind of misinformation and false accusation.  A Christian brother has had his good name smeared all the way up to the level of national news.  The organization has issued a clarifying statement, but somehow it's not forwarded nearly as often as the delightful, beloved, rejoiced-in offense.

These are people for whom I pray.  And praying for them has made me care.  Has made me love them.  Has made me grieve at the delighted stone-throwing that I'm seeing.

Praying produces love.  Make yourself pray for others until you love them...and then you'll pray for them because you want to.

Pray for your enemies.  And join Christ in mourning over the sin that threatens to destroy them, instead of joining the enemy in hurrying their destruction.

And pray for me, that I will do the same.

We don't have a clue how much depends on it, and not just for them, but for us, and for the honor of Christ's Name.

For Those Who Can't Walk on Water Either

Sarah Trimmer (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

"Oh you of little faith, why did you doubt?"

Was Jesus rebuking Peter for lacking the faith to keep walking on the water?

That's the way I've always heard it, but now I wonder.

You see, I've had a life full of sinkings.  So many sinkings that I rarely get out of the boat.  And I'm less likely to get out of it if I think that my next drubbing will be rebuked by Jesus because... terrible failure that I am... I can't do the impossible.

Is the Christian life a process of learning to walk on the water?

I wonder.

Years ago I wrote something that I knew I needed to read again this morning.  (I hope you'll read it too, and I'll link to it so you can.)  I said,  "What if 'arrival' has nothing to do with reaching a certain level of perfection, and everything to do with maintaining the kind of humble, childlike faith that expects nothing from itself and relies totally on God?"

I really believe that that's true.  Please do read the article I linked to above, for more reasons WHY I believe it.

Whole sermons have been written about Peter's lack of faith causing him to sink.  Because of that mindset, people strive to grow stronger faith, and when they're faced with stormy seas or risky situations, they can only see two options.

• Proudly step out, believing their faith to be mighty enough
• Stay in the boat, believing that they haven't yet achieved a strong enough faith.

What if neither of those options are right?  What if the "proudly stepping out" is just that...religious pride rather than true faith in Christ? And what if the "staying in the boat" is a sign of spiritual failure?  What if both are wrong, and neither is right?

UGH!  Before long you can start running in circles like a terrified rabbit, and you give up on this "faith thing" because it just drives you nuts.  You can't do it.  You can't figure out which is right!  You can't figure out your own motives!  You can't see any way to step out in faith or to stay in faith, because you can see sin in yourself either way.  So you get paralyzed.  

To that I say (both to you and to myself):

STOP IT!

Right now, just STOP IT!

Jesus didn't say to any of the disciples, "Why did you stay in the boat?"  And I don't believe he said to Peter, "Why did you sink?"

For what doubt did Jesus rebuke Peter?

Will He rebuke you, too, if you step out of your safe place, and you start to sink?

No, that's not my Jesus.  More importantly, that's not the Biblical Jesus...the Jesus who is tender towards the weakest, the lowliest, the most helpless.  He does not break the bruised reed (Matt 12:20).

There are several accounts in the Bible of Jesus saving the disciples from stormy seas.  In the one we've been looking at, Jesus walked on the water to the boat, and Peter walked out to meet him.  In another case, Jesus was asleep in the boat, and they came and woke him up.  In both cases, they were terrified.

And in both cases, the rebuke was the same.  "Why did you doubt?  Where is your faith?"

Maybe we've been asking the wrong question.  Maybe the question isn't, "Why did Peter sink?"

What if the right question is, "Why did Peter fear that Jesus wouldn't save him when he sank?"

Remember, in both stormy situations, for the disciples both in and out of the boat, the question was the same. The gentle, loving rebuke was the same.  "Why did you doubt?"

Why do you and I doubt that He will save us when we are sinking?  Why are we making "in vs. out of the boat" the issue?  Why are we making "on top of the water vs. going under the water" the issue?

Are we to fear, in either location?

Was half-dunked Peter filled with less faith than the ones in the boat?  I don't think so.  All of them were afraid of going under, regardless of where they were when it happened.

Joyful, free faith doesn't have to examine its own perfection to see whether it should get out of the boat or stay there.  It doesn't say, "I'm disqualified from getting out of the boat, because I can spot sin remaining in myself and in my motives." It doesn't say, "Oh no, my sinking must mean that my faith wasn't strong enough!"

Joyful, free faith trusts Jesus no matter where we feel the water threatening to overwhelm us, even though we're not yet perfected, because HE is our Savior.

Why must we keep relearning that HE saves us?  Why do we keep thinking that we save ourselves by making our faith perfect enough, instead of believing that He saves people of little faith?

He is the Savior...not of the perfected, but of sinners (Luke 5:31-32)!  Why do we doubt?  He who saves those in the boat, will he not save those who walk out on the water and then start to sink?

Where are you in your walk?  Does Jesus want you to believe that you could be anywhere, anywhere where He cannot save you?

The life of faith is not a life of staying always on top of the waves.  It's a life of believing that you are free to walk with Him in humble-but-imperfect ways, without doubting that His love will pull you out of the water no matter where you are when you start to sink.

Because you WILL sink sometimes.  I guarantee it.  Life's billows WILL overwhelm you.

Cancer.  Loss of a loved one.  Betrayal.  Failure.  Injury.  Job loss.  Moving to an unfamiliar place.

You WILL sink sometimes.

The question from Jesus, I believe, is not, "Why did you sink?"

It is, "Why did you fear I would not be here to lift you up when you sank?"

So step out if you feel that's what God is calling you to do.  Don't question if you have enough faith to stay on the water.  Just believe that He will save you when you get wet.

And here's a final word of love to those who are currently under the waves, and have been there, perhaps, for a long time.  I am NOT preaching a despicable "prosperity gospel" (which I hate) here.  I am not saying that Jesus will always take the waves away.  His salvation is sometimes through the trials, not from the trials. Your pain does not mean He loves you less, or that you are a failure.  Trust Him, trust Him, that He will pull you out of the water when the time is right, when that part of your life's story has been written to perfection (even if that relief doesn't come in this lifetime).  Trust that He is your Savior, no matter where you are in relation to the boat, the water, or the other disciples. He will bring you to the right place because of your continued, trusting obedience.  Remember, as long as we're on this earth, it's a Christian walk, not a Christian arrival.

Trust Him, trust Him, trust Him, wherever you are, no matter how far you've gone under life's overwhelming forces.

That's a stronger faith than one which skips lightly across the waves.

Triumphing Over Evil

Yesterday's blog ended on the following note:

"To triumph over evil is NOT to whitewash it, whether in our own hearts or in society.  Triumph is NOT a victory of mere legislation, or social pressure, or convincing rhetoric.  Triumph is NOT "winning God's wars for Him" by using the weapons of evil.  Triumph is NOT stockpiling enough to hunker down while the world goes to Hell around us.  Triumphing is NOT out-snarling the snarlers, out-shouting the shouters, out-hating the haters.
How does the Church triumph over evil?"

What follows is my best answer to that question.

Mark this well...there is no corporate triumph of the Church without individual triumph of its members.  And there is no triumph over sin outside the church without triumph over sin within it.  And I don't mean a pseudo-triumphant, whitewashed, Pharisaical, siege-minded, self-righteous church.  May God forgive us for pursuing such ends.

I also don't define triumph as "getting those people to treat us right."  Nowhere in Scripture do the ancient martyrs receive censure for failing to change Nero's mind, or for failing to overthrow his government, or for failing to force society to its knees, or failing to stand up for their "Christian rights".  How did they triumph, and for what were they commended by God?

They overcame him

by the blood of the Lamb

and by the word of their testimony;

they did not love their lives so much

as to shrink from death.

(Rev 12:11)  

Some were tortured, refusing to accept release,

so that they might rise again to a better life.

Others suffered mocking and flogging,

and even chains and imprisonment.

They were stoned, they were sawn in two,

they were killed with the sword.

They went about in skins of sheep and goats,

destitute, afflicted, mistreated— 

of whom the world was not worthy— 

wandering about in deserts and mountains,

and in dens and caves of the earth.

And all these, though commended through their faith,

did not receive what was promised...

Heb 11:35b-39

By every worldly measure, these people were abject failures.  And some "Prosperity Preachers" might even think of them as failures because they did not see all of God's promises fulfilled in their lifetimes, despite having given Him their all.

If you and I could see those martyrs now, oh the glory we would see in them...the reflected glory of The Crucified One whom they followed to the end!  The promises are theirs, most assuredly, for death was not even close to being the end for them.

Now, please don't take me for a melodramaticist.  I'm not saying that we'll be thrown to the lions any time soon...though anything is possible.  But that's not the point, is it?  The point is NOT what they do or don't do to us.  The point is, will we remain true to Christ, individually and corporately, whether we manage to see our culture redeemed in our lifetimes or not?

How do we know if we will or not?  How do we know if we have the strength to follow in the footsteps of those He commended in Scripture?

We can know by the orientation of our hearts, our loves, our commitments.  Love is the strongest driving force we have, is it not?  No matter what, we will live for what we love most.  And for whom does God bend all things so that they "work together for good"?  For those who love God and are called according to His purpose (Rom 8:28).

How can we know if we love God enough?

 For this is the love of God,

that we keep his commandments.

And his commandments are not burdensome.

1 John 5:3

If we hate God's commandments, and chafe under them, and keep them only to the extent that we believe we must in order to "get by," and consider them a burden, then we do not love God, because those commandments that we hate are the revelation of His character.

If we love God's commandments, and try to keep them (albeit managing only imperfectly and inconsistently), then we love Him, because the commandments that we love are perfectly consistent with His character.

And these things are true in times of ease as well as in the hard times.  Indeed, if we don't seek to submit to Christ now, when it's still relatively easy, then we have no assurance that we'll do so when things get worse.

And what are these commandments that we are to love and strive to keep under the New Covenant He established with His blood?

 A lawyer, asked him a question to test him.

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?”

And he said to him,

“You shall love the Lord your God

with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.

This is the great and first commandment.

And a second is like it: 

You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

On these two commandments

depend all the Law and the Prophets.” 

Matt 22:35-40 

If we love the Lord, and love our neighbors, and love our enemies, and are committed to growing in this love, then God's presence will be there for us to sustain us through whatever comes.  No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly (Ps. 84:11).

But if ugly situations drive us to hate our neighbors, to spurn Christ's command to love them, to mar His reflection with our snarling visages, to adopt an arrogant or cowardly "look out for Number One" mentality, then even if we die as martyrs, we gain nothing (1 Cor 13:3).

Also, if ugly situations can cause us to abandon the Truth and accept the lie in order to avoid conflict, then we are failing to love God, who is Truth.  And we are failing to love our neighbor, who needs to hear the Truth spoken in love (Eph 4:15), whether he wants to hear it or not!

How are you responding, right now, today, to the hatred and evil around you?  That will depend entirely on how you are responding to the hatred and evil within you.  And the same goes for me, both now and in the future.

If we are truly Christians, then we are banking everything on Christ's mercy and grace in shedding His own blood for us in the mightiest act of love and forgiveness ever conceived.  We are depending on His righteousness credited to our accounts through no merit of our own, and we are enormously grateful that He has placed His Spirit within us to open our sin-blinded eyes and lead us in paths of righteousness for His name's sake (Ps 23:3).  We are humbled that He would stoop to mold us into what He wants us to be.  We depend on Him to keep us, day-by-day, on the right path, because we know that we would stray if left to ourselves.

If we are counting on these things for our own sins, why would we dream of offering our neighbor anything less for his sins?  If we believe that our neighbor needs Christ, why would we be willing to act like the Devil toward him?

Since so many who hate us believe that they themselves occupy the moral high ground, why would we choose to confirm that belief by using their own sinful tactics against them?

I am quite certain that my words will not change the world.  They will not stem the tide of evil.  The time for rhetoric seems to be past.  Evil is on a rampage, not just in terms of any one side issue (such as "homosexual rights"), but in terms of THE issue (rebellion against God and rejection of Him as Lord).

By and large, the only way I expect to defeat evil is to be constantly repenting of it in my own life, and to be seeking to grow more in love toward God and my neighbor, speaking the truth in love so that his eyes might be opened towards Christ, and his heart might be changed.  And if, by God's grace, I do manage to grow in this way, I will count it as victory.  And if (Please, God!) the whole church grows in this way, I will rejoice with all my heart!

Nothing less will please the Lord.  And nothing less will offer any hope for my neighbor, my enemy, whom I am called to love.

Hating my enemy is a failure that will drag all of my other "successes" down with it.

Discovering New Enemies Lately?

I live in what is, for the most part, a very civilized country.  And I am blessed to live in a beautiful city, one that consistently hits the top of the "Best of the US" lists.  I admit that I'm spoiled.

But as someone once stated, "civilization" is a thin veneer, and under the right pressures, it can disappear instantly.  I'm not talking about the occasional madman, like the one who massacred moviegoers last week just an hour south of here.  I'm talking about "normal" people, and what they...what WE can become at a moment's notice.  And it's sobering.  Humbling.  Alarming.

We see it when people are trampled to death in a stampede to get the newest toy for the kids for Christmas.

We see it it in popular movements where tens of thousands gather to protest injustices (real or perceived) in self-righteous indignation, while treating their fellow man with utter contempt in the process.

We see it in dusty black-and-white photos in our history books, when ordinary people...former friends, neighbors, and co-workers of the dead... avert their eyes from the endless piles of corpses in the concentration camps and wonder, "How did I let this happen in my back yard?"

How indeed?

Until recently, this was an academic subject for me...but not any more.  I'm willing to bet that many Christians are feeling it hitting closer to home lately.  We see friends, neighbors, co-workers, even family members snarling, snapping, insulting, hating us for simply loving the purity and beauty of God and His ways (in this case, God's design for marriage).  We are called all manner of awful things, and are left standing in bewilderment as we wipe the flecks of froth off our faces from their spitting rage.  We see our reason and gentleness twisted by their hatred and thrown back in our faces as they curse and scream at us that we are the "haters."  We see them applauding as government leaders threaten to strip away the very pillars of our Constitution in order to unleash their hatred on us for our beliefs.

We feel shell-shocked, confused, betrayed.

Now, I know full well that there are plenty who claim to support God's pure and beautiful ways, but who fight for it with attitudes and actions so ugly that they reveal themselves to be wolves in sheep's clothing.  People who love to hate their neighbor.  I'm not speaking of them.

I'm speaking of ordinary Christians of good will having venomous hostility poured out on us, not for our real faults (of which we have many), but purely because of our belief in what God has defined as Right and Wrong.

In short, though we don't desire enemies, we're finding that we have more and more of them.

What is happening?

For the mystery of lawlessness is already at work. 

Only he who now restrains it will do so until he is out of the way.

(2 Thess 2:7)

"He who restrains lawlessness..." who is that?

I believe it is the Holy Spirit.  He holds evil back, only allowing it to express itself in the ways that conform to His ultimate plan for our good and God's glory.  God is not the author of evil, ever.  But He can, does, and MUST shape, restrain, and control our evil to make sure that it all "works together for good to those who love God," and to make sure it fulfills prophecy.  Look how He shaped and controlled the evil of Judas to bring about the greatest good that ever happened, exactly when and how the prophets said it would happen.

And I believe that there are times when He steps back a bit.  No, He won't be "out of the way" completely until the very end of the age, for He never leaves His people.  So as long as His people are here, He will be here.

And no, He never loses control.  He is God, always and ever.

But there are times when He gives evil a looser grip, just to let it show itself for what it really is.  You see, evil under a civilized veneer can fool a lot of people.  But when the veneer is stripped away, and evil gets freer rein, people may begin to recognize and loathe it more easily (though even that takes a miraculous work of the Spirit).  And those who are committed to evil are left without even the lie of "civilization" as an excuse.

So now, in this moment of American history, evil snarls in my complacent face much more than it used to.  Yours too, I'll bet.

And, in response, evil snarls in our hearts much more than it used to.  We are not purely innocent in these matters, are we?  If we think we are, we're fooling ourselves.

If you're like me, you want to triumph over evil in these days.  But I have to tell you, I don't define "triumph" the same way that I used to.

To triumph over evil is NOT to whitewash it, whether in our own hearts or in society.  Triumph is NOT a victory of mere legislation, or social pressure, or convincing rhetoric.  Triumph is NOT "winning God's wars for Him" by using the weapons of evil.  Triumph is NOT stockpiling enough to hunker down while the world goes to Hell around us.  Triumphing is NOT out-snarling the snarlers, out-shouting the shouters, out-hating the haters.

How can the Church triumph over evil in our day?

I'll post my thoughts on that question in the next entry.  But in the meantime, I'll be happy to post any comments which seek to answer that question, as long as they fall within certain guidelines.

• I will not post hateful comments
• I will not debate whether or not Scripture clearly calls homosexual activity "sin."  It does.  It also calls a lot of other things "sin."  We need to agree with God on ALL of it.
• I will not post comments which attempt to encourage worldly responses to sin.

Within the above guidelines, I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

Are You Preparing for Terrorism?

Photo credit: 

Public Domain - Wikipedia 

The headline greeted me over breakfast this morning.

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Al-Qaeda Calls for PA*-Style Arson in America

Al-Qaeda’s Inspire magazine calls on readers to “unleash hell”

with arson attacks similar to decades of attacks targeting Israel.
(*PA = "Palestinian Authority")

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Am I ready?  Are you?  Just how does one prepare for an enemy like militant Islam?

The Web is full of advice of all sorts.

There are those who will tell you to stockpile food and weapons.

There are those who will tell you to move to a remote location to protect your family and your worldly wealth.

There are those who will tell you that you should refuse to believe anything negative about the "Religion of Peace," because it's all a bunch of propaganda.  They say you should love your neighbor by refusing to believe even their stated plans to annihilate you.

Paranoia versus rose-colored delusion.

"Hate your neighbor" versus "Ignore your real neighbor and love the imaginary neighbor you'd prefer to believe you have."

Are those the only two choices?

Are you preparing for terrorism?

You'd better be.  But how?

How did Jesus prepare for the onslaught He knew was coming?

We can ask ourselves, “Does this attitude, this approach, this action look like Jesus on the cross?” If our attitude, approach, and action cannot be reasonably compared to the image of the cruciform, we need to abandon it. Caesar may adopt it, it may be practical, it may even be “successful,” but if it’s not Christlike, then it’s not our pattern. Without a radical commitment to the shape of the cruciform, the process of deformation will continue year after year, and our beauty will be lost.

Zahnd, Brian (2012-01-03). Beauty Will Save the World: Rediscovering the allure and mystery of Christianity (pp. 18-19). Strang Communications. Kindle Edition.

What did Jesus do when He knew His own personal "terrorist" enemies would soon kill Him?

He refused to confuse His kingdom with worldly kingdoms, and therefore he rejected worldly tactics, priorities, and goals.

So Pilate entered his headquarters again and called Jesus and said to him, “Are you the King of the Jews?”

Jesus answered,  “My kingdom is not of this world. If my kingdom were of this world, my servants would have been fighting, that I might not be delivered over to the Jews. But my kingdom is not from the world.”

Then Pilate said to him, “So you are a king?”

Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. For this purpose I was born and for this purpose I have come into the world— to bear witness to the truth." (Excerpted from John 18:33-37)

Jesus knew who He was, He knew His purpose, He knew how to achieve it.  And He submitted to His Father all the way to death, "even death on a cross" (Php 2:8).

How many revolutionaries from Jesus' era can you name?  How many who took up arms still have kingdoms?  Which arms changed the world most...arms of warfare, or arms outstretched to receive the nails? Which arms do you believe in? Which arms saved you (if indeed you are saved)? Which can save your neighbor?

Who reigns?  More specifically, who reigns over YOU?  In which kingdom do you live...the kingdom of Satan or the kingdom of God?

Be careful how you answer, because your choice of kingdom and King will determine what goals and priorities you pursue, and what tactics you will use to achieve them.

How did Jesus prepare?

He stayed firmly in the Kingdom of God, in total submission to His Father, in humility, in death to all that the world offers, in love for His friends, and in love for His enemies.  He prayed in agony for deliverance, but chose the Father's will over His own.

He went about doing good to all (Acts 10:38), even though He knew many would turn away from Him (John 6:66).

He washed the feet of Judas (John 13:1-19).

He healed a man in the mob who arrested Him, while rebuking the disciple who attacked the man (John 18:10-11)

He prayed for those who persecuted Him, just as He commanded us to do.

There they crucified him, and the criminals, one on his right and one on his left. And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”  (Luke 23:34)

But His preparation didn't begin on those last agonizing days.  He'd been preparing all along. Washing Judas' feet was not a one-time, token act done for illustrative purposes.  He loved His enemies all along (though sometimes with a tough love that they probably didn't perceive as such). He lived in humble submission to His Father since before Day One.  He renounced the kingdoms of this world in a dramatic fashion when Satan offered them to Him (Luke 4:5-8), but also in an everyday fashion when He refused a life of ease and comfort (Matt 8:20).

How do we prepare for persecution?

We prepare the same way Jesus did...by trusting, obedient faith.

We love the Father with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength.  If we don't do it now, we won't do it when persecution comes.

We love our neighbor as ourselves (Matt 22:36-39), even if they're our enemies (Matt 5:44-48).  We love them in whatever small ways are available to us now, so that we'll be ready when the "big ways" are required of us.  If we don't do it now, we won't do it when persecution comes.  (If you don't believe that, ask yourself this question:  "What keeps me aloof from the people I see in Muslim garb?"  The answer that probably comes immediately to your mind is, "I don't have any way of knowing if they're the peaceful kind or the militant kind."  Well, what if they are the militant kind?  What if they are?  If you're not committed to obeying Christ in loving your enemy, then you won't be able to love the stranger who "just might be" your enemy.)

We humbly serve (Luke 10:33-37).  If we don't do it now, we won't do it when persecution comes.

We reject all tactics, priorities, and goals that belong in Satan's kingdom, and pursue "righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit" (Romans 14:17).  If we don't do it now, we won't do it when persecution comes.

We seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and leave the care of our earthly lives to Him (Matt 6:33).  If we don't do it now, we won't do it when persecution comes.

We take up our cross daily and follow Him (Luke 9:23).  If we don't do it now, we won't do it when persecution comes.

"Following Jesus means preparing to die—daily. Every day we must deny ourselves the expectation of comfort and safety, and we must courageously face whatever persecution our allegiance to Jesus stirs up, even to the point of death." Sidders, Greg (2011-04-01). The Invitation (p. 57). Baker Book Group. Kindle Edition. 

I'm going to prepare for persecution today.  How?  By settling the question of kingdom allegiance in my mind, so that I can say along with Paul, "It is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death.  For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain (Php 1:20-21).

And then, with the kingdom of Christ as my priority, I will leave the question of persecution behind.  Forget about it.  Because either way, whether that Muslim at Sam's Club is peaceful or not, I'm determined that Christ will be honored in my body. To really live for Christ is all about humbly loving, serving, and submitting to Him.

And dying for Him is all about exactly the same thing.

So I'll prepare for persecution (without even thinking about persecution) by loving and serving in whatever ways He calls me to.  

I'll prepare for it (without even thinking about it) by loving my angry teen (and repenting when I fail to love him).  

I'll prepare for it (without even thinking about it) by repenting of my anger toward the driver who cuts me off, and choosing to pray for him instead.  

I'll prepare for it (without even thinking about it) by treasuring Christ above all.  I'll do it all very imperfectly, but even that will turn to His glory as He forgives and restores me.  And a thousand daily acts of loving obedience and service will change who I am.  (And Heaven knows, “who I am” needs a lot of changing!)

I'm eager to get to know a whole multitude of Christians who are learning to love, to smile, to be fearlessly humble, to serve, to fall but repent with joyful gratitude and seek the kingdom first again.

I want to live among the people who are growing to understand what Elisabeth Elliot (widow of martyr Jim Elliot) meant when she said,

"Is the distinction between living for Christ

and dying for Him, after all, so great?"

Are you with me?

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Please note:  I am not advocating a position of complete pacifism.  I do believe that there can be such a thing as a "just war."  I will not publish any comments which seek to create a debate over the concept of "just war."  This post is about how individuals in our day-to-day civilian lives are to live in The Kingdom.  Any dissenting views MUST be civil, and MUST be based on the common ground of submission to Christ.

Praying for "...But Not..."

It's been a long time since I've posted anything.  But it certainly hasn't been for lack of "interesting" events in my life!  In the past couple of months I've spent a great deal of time on bedrest, relying on the incredible generosity of my church and help from my family.  I've undergone tons of medical tests, taken lots of medications, received several new diagnoses, struggled with hopes delayed, engaged in wrestlings with God, and seen answers to prayers that I had never even been wise enough to pray.  (Must have been other believers and Jesus who made those requests on my behalf, I'm sure.)

Finally, just over a week ago (on Nov 29, 2011), I had the major surgery I needed.  Thanks be to God, I am already feeling better than I have felt for months, and am on the road to what will probably be better overall health than I've had in more than a decade!  I'm still relying on the generosity of others for help, but I'm now cleared to lift up to 8-10 lbs, so I can do many more things.

In some ways it's been tough, but I wouldn't trade this time for anything.  God has been SO present, and SO sweet!  I have learned so much about rest, about trust, about submission, about gratitude...but mostly about the precious sovereign love of God for me in Christ.  Thank Him along with me, will you?

 A little while ago I read "A Praying Life" by Paul Miller, and it changed the way I pray for myself, my family, my neighborhood, my church, missionaries, and the world.  The book helped me see how to get to the root and pray about the heart of the issues in my life and sphere.  And boy, do I always need to deal with heart issues!

You see, I've always had a powerful avoidance ethic.  "If you can't control it, avoid it" was my unspoken motto for life, unseen and unquestioned as it guided me into disaster after disaster.  My prayer life largely focused on the desire to see pain relieved or prevented, even as I busily pursued the kind of selfishness that ate me up and made me useless.

But several months ago, when I was making up my new prayer card for myself, the Spirit brought one of my Scripture memory passages to mind.  (That's a powerful argument for memorizing Scripture!)  I made that passage part of my daily prayer for myself, and because it aligns with God's wise will, He is honoring it.

May I invite you along as I pray this passage?

"Lord, please free me from the urge to try to control everything, the belief that the avoidance of pain is the greatest good.  At the heart of them, my prayers used to always be, 'Don't let me be afflicted.  Don't let me be perplexed.  Don't let me be persecuted.  Don't let me be struck down.'  But that's not my prayer any more.  Now I ask that You would free me to be what Paul described: 'afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.' 

I say, 'Free me' to be these things, because that would be truly liberating.  I have been a slave to fear, held captive by avoidance, paralyzed by risk.  Please free me to love others in the way that You do...a way which is only possible if I'm willing to be hurt.  I can't triumph on my own, but through You I am 'more than a conqueror' (Rom. 8:37).  And what would this victory look like?  It would look like loving the Lord my God with all my heart and soul and mind and strength, and loving my neighbor as myself.  It would look like the end of self-centered self-protection, and the beginning of sacrificial love.  It would look like the end of regret over opportunities lost, and the birth of praise and joy over circumstances submitted to Your glory and the good of those I touch.

And then, Oh Lord, I pray that you would help me to understand, by experience, what Paul said next. Teach me what it means to be 'always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.'  How can it be that this, 'carrying of Jesus' death,' and this, 'manifesting of His life' is something that 'we who live' are 'always doing?'  I don't know, but I pray that you would make it true in my life so that I would be able to glorify You and serve my neighbor in that way."

I felt an immense burden lifted off of me the first time I prayed that, and since then the Lord has been faithfully helping me to pry my hands off the controls, to trust Him, to risk loving and being hurt.  I've got a long way to go, of course, but I love the path I'm on now!

How would your prayer life...your whole life...be changed if you regularly prayed for the "...but not..." of 2 Cor. 4:8-11?

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Photo by abcdz2000 from Stock Xchng

Protection and Strength

Image via Wikipedia

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Life's tough, so you'd better get over it!"

"Oh, boo-hoo, you enjoy being depressed!"

It doesn't take long for a child to figure out she's on her own.  And it doesn't take long for her to come up with her own emotional survival strategies.  But of course she's only a child, and a sinner to boot.  Her strategies are fatally flawed, but she can't see that.  By the time she's a woman, they've become an unquestioned part of who she is, and they feel like life to her. 

Toughen up.  Shut down the tender feelings that make a sucker out of you.  And don't expect help from anybody.  In fact, keep 'em all at arm's length, or they'll suck you dry with their demands.  Just show them the smile and move on.  Handle life on your own.

That attitude is so deeply ingrained in me that I've never really examined it until recently.  Of course toughness is necessary for survival, so of course it's loving.  Of course tenderness is for suckers.  (Never mind how deeply I long for it!)

What do you do when life brings you more than you can handle?  If you were raised like I was, you know that God is up there.  And though you don't believe He loves you personally, you do know that you once prayed the right prayer to take advantage of God's legal loophole and get forgiven.  So when you need something, you pray.  And pray.  And pray.

But what if God doesn't answer?  What if your precious toddling son really is gone, replaced by this look-alike who has lost all of his personality, who does nothing but scream day in and day out until you have no nerves left to fry?  What if there are diagnoses that leave you without hope for his future…and then you find out your older son has something similar? 

And what if God doesn't do anything about it, no matter how you plead, no matter how obviously you're drowning?

If you're like me, you go into hiding.  You build walls.  You avoid as much of reality as you possibly can.  People don't help, and now you know that God won't, either.  The circumstances just never change, and they don't look like they ever will.  How could they?  Autism and Bipolar Disorder don't go away.  Medications only help a little.  How can I be the mother these children need?

The answer echoes from my own childhood.  Toughen up, wimp!  That's the only way to cope and be what they need you to be.  And so I try, but it's not in me.  I can't shut off what's good inside my soul, even if I believe that "toughness" is the most loving thing I can do.

Can anything be more paralyzing than finding none of life's options to be livable?

Something inside of me sobs for a protector, but there isn't one.  I learned that when God didn't change what was killing me.  So nothing remains but to try to make the inner sobs shut up.  Pour contempt on them.  Crybaby!  Wimp!  Nobody's going to protect you but you.  So hide.  Hide.  Hide.

Computer solitaire, anyone?  Or how about catching up on Christian blogs, or the latest news?  Has another day disappeared already?

Sometimes I venture out of my hiding place.  The calendar keeps flipping.  Children keep growing.  The past is a blur.  Opportunities have disappeared forever.  The future makes huge demands, and I've got to be tough to meet them.  My family needs me to be stronger!  So I try, but toughness requires anger and kills all softness in me.  And it's so ugly!  I hate it.  My family hates it.  I can't bear to keep it up for long.  Before I know it, I'm sinking back into escapism, knowing I've failed again because I'm not strong enough. 

Of course, during all of the lonely years, God hasn't really been absent.  He has thrown away all religious nonsense about "legal loopholes" and has introduced me to Himself.  He has brought friends into my life, and has taught me to trust and enjoy them, and even to be there for them.  He has allowed my most autistic child to progress in ways I never would have imagined.  He has allowed me to be fed wonderful spiritual food from different sources.  He has grown my faith tremendously.

But still, as I mentioned yesterday, there has always been a radical disconnection between my faith and my life.  It's not that I'm living in any gross sin.  It's just that I still don't have the strength to face my responsibilities. 

But just a few days ago a thought popped into my head that could only have come from God.  It's too foreign to my way of thinking for me to have manufactured it myself.

Re-think the Fruit of the Spirit in terms of how God protects you.

The part of my soul that sobs for a protector sat up and took notice right away.  And God must have done some cultivating to prepare my heart's soil for that little seed, because it seems to be taking root. 

It dawned on me that protection isn't synonymous with hiding.  (That's a paradigm-shattering notion right there!)  Protection can be like armor in the middle of a battle.  It can make even a coward rush toward the enemy, can keep a weak man from being skewered, and can preserve a strong man to fight another day.

Then it dawned on me that, if protection can make you strong and brave, then maybe you don't need ugly, soul-killing, tenderness-squelching, angry "toughness" in order to face life's challenges.

Maybe, "Be strong in the Lord" doesn't mean what I thought it meant at all.  Maybe it doesn't mean "believe the right things and carry a big stick."

Could this "gotta be tough" mindset be the false belief system that has been holding me back?  I've been praying for God to teach me to walk in His grace…is this part of His answer?

This is beginning to sound exciting!  Maybe there's a way to be strong and loving!  Do you suppose?

And maybe…maybe if protection doesn't look the way I expected it to look, then perhaps it's because it's suited for a totally different enemy than the one I thought I was fighting.  Had I mis-identified my opponent?

And if I was wrong about my opponent and about what protection looks like, then was I wrong to conclude that God had failed to protect me?  Could I really scrap my forlorn conviction that I have to go it alone?

And how does the Fruit of the Spirit figure into all of this?  (I know, I had planned to elaborate on that today, but I've already made this entry long enough just by laying the groundwork.  Tomorrow then, okay?)