This is mainly a theological blog, and it feels like the wrong venue for posting a whole lot about our new homeschooling adventure. But I know that many of you are interested, so I've decided to resurrect an old blog of mine and give it a new identity. My old "Betsy's Facebook Blog" (which really needs a new name, but I don't know if that's possible) is now going to provide updates about our homeschool. I hope you'll bookmark it or subscribe!
It's late at night, and I have a ton of dishes to take care of, but I want to write a bit anyway about a subject that is close to my heart right now.
How do I know I'm ready to homeschool?
This isn't a question about homeschooling, but rather a question about readiness in general. Other people may experience things differently, but I hope some of you will find my experiences helpful.
How do I know I'm ready?
- Because I know I'm not ready. Back before I knew my kids had special needs, I pictured myself as a homeschooling mom. I had every intention of doing it. The problem was, I had all the wrong attitudes and motives. I was pretty arrogant, frankly, thinking I knew everything I needed to know, and I would be a perfect parent, and…well, I'll quit before I make anybody truly ill. Bleh! What a mess I would have made of it in my own strength! Now, on the other hand, I know I can't do it, and I'm fine with that. I know Who can do it through me, Who is leading, Who is providing, Who is my strength and joy and wisdom. Without Him I can do nothing…but He's here! And His command is His provision.
- Because God really did insist on this. There have been few times in my life when His guidance has been this clear. Very few. Even when the thought of homeschooling brought waves of terror, I could feel Him coming alongside with assurances. No "pep talks," believe me. Those come from the flesh. This was His quiet Presence, and His calm assurance in the midst of my storm. So perfectly clear. To tell Him "no" would have been unthinkable. All right, I confess, I did think about not going through with the homeschooling, but that was only when I mentally left Him out of the picture. He wasn't willing to be left out for long, though, and whenever He tapped my shoulder (so to speak), "no" went out the window. He's just too good, too trustworthy, too loving to refuse!
- Because I'm no longer motivated by fear. Back in my early days of homeschool dreaming, I was motivated by terror. If the public schools got hold of my kids, they'd ruin them for sure! (And of course the flipside was the same old arrogance, because I believed that if I was in charge, of course my kids would turn out as perfect angels. HAH!) Anyway, I'm no longer run by that fear. The elementary schools that the kids went to were wonderful blessings from the Lord. But even if they hadn't been, the schools still aren't in charge of my children's souls. And neither am I. My children's souls are completely in the hands of my sovereign God. I am homeschooling now because I believe God has called us to do so at this time, not because I'm afraid of not doing so. I think that's much healthier.
So you see, I'm ready for one reason, and one reason only. I know I'm going to blow it plenty of times, I know I'm going to have times of tears and frustration, and I know I don't have what it takes. I'm sure I'll be writing plenty of discouraged-sounding entries. But God has willed this, and He'll see us all through it.
What more could we possibly need?